Daily Prompt: Degree ~Surviving Life~

via Daily Prompt: Degree 

First Impressions — How to Set the Stage for Success.  Waiting room "bragging wall" of diplomas

I may not have a wall dedicated to proudly display my Bachelor, Masters or Doctorate Degrees, for all the world to see and admire.

My graduation cap ❤️ Less than 48 hours until I have that Masters Degree!

However, I do deserve a degree in surviving life and all that it threw at me.

~

Dysfunctional upbringing
Alcoholic and Abusive Father figure
Date rape
Miscarriages
Failed marriage
Ex-husbands sudden death
My own alcoholism
Being involved with a narcissist for seven years 
Suffering from severe depression
Attempted & failed suicide
A Complete mental break
Learn about Mental Illness in Family 
Become Homeless
Diagnoses 
Bipolar 2
Severe Depression
Anxiety & Panic Attacks
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Insomnia
Transferred from Women’s Shelter to Transitional Housing
Isolation in order to survive
Begin a Blog
Share my story
Advocate and educate myself
Share my journey in order to help others with mental illness
Spread Mental Health Awareness like wildfire
Work on myself
For myself
Become stronger through daily affirmations
Practice daily meditation
Seek guidance through Therapy & Psychiatry
Fight the powers that be to keep me down
Approved for disability
Move out of transitional housing
Share a townhouse with my wonderful roommate
Have a new lease on life
Bought an older car
Continuously write about my journey
My journey of survival
Happy to feel happiness once again
Hope
Peace
Security
Serenity
Tranquility
Withinside of me  

a new day will always come. take comfort in this

I think I earned my degree in surviving life.
What do you think?
Then again, I know there are several more people that deserve this unseen degree that they rightfully deserve. 

 

~ The Crystal Ball ~

Incredibly beautiful and rare French crystal ball on stand circa 1900 from DC member Doe and Hope

Oh, crystal ball,

what do you see?

would you give me a glimpse

somewhere in time,

of what the future has in store for me?

~

My days are filled with dreams,

nights full of visions.

Emotions trapped inside –

a mental prison,

I plead for release.

~

Oh, crystal ball,

I can’t cry anymore,

my tears have turned to dust.

I long for a heart that

I can trust.

~

Oh, crystal ball,

How can I prepare myself?

will I have the strength to

let my guard down, or

will my heart remain on a shelf?

~

Oh, crystal ball,

what do you see?

I lean in a bit closer, but

all that I see is a 

reflection of me –

Alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

~ If It Were Up To Me… ~

diversity hands artwork | hands - stock illustration, royalty free illustrations, stock clip art ...

If it were up to me…

The poor would have riches

The blind would see

The hungry would eat

The children would smile

The deaf would hear

The unfriendly would learn to share

The weakest would grow stronger

If it were up to me…

There would be no more sorrow

There would be no more war

There would be no more pain

There would be no more horror

There would be no more fear

There would be no hardship

There would be no homeless

If it were up to me…

The world would be kinder

The world would be more patient

The world would be more loving

The world would be more accepting

The world would be more harmonious

The world would be more aware

The world would be more united

Oh, how I wish it were up to me…

 

Please check out what’s happening at “The Perfectly Imperfect Bunch”  Thank you.  🙂

Daily Prompt: Sparkle “Inner Sparkle”

via Daily Prompt: Sparkle

Sparkle

Mental illness is a vicious circle,
of many ups and downs.
Trial and error,
tweaking meds,
left me numb,
and feeling dull.
Finally, there came  day;
My mind broke free,
from the abyss 
that held its grip on me.
No more constant crying,
no more thoughts on dying,
I began to feel stability.
Light glimmered 
and flickered,
from the narrow tunnel;
Beckoning me,
‘Keep moving forward,
you’re almost there.’
With all my might,
I fought a difficult plight
and trudged my way through,
out of darkness,
into the light.
Mental illness does not define me,
it is what it is.
My hope restored,
heart full of gratitude,
gained a new outlook on life.
I share with you, 
hope and positivity
attempting to brighten your day,
My new found inner sparkle
I display; 
“Never give in, and Never give up”
I repeatedly say.

 

Please check out what’s happening at “The Perfectly Imperfect Bunch”  –  Talented writers that share their writing techniques as well as sharing poems, and short stories.  Thank You.  🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daily Prompt: Mercy ~ The Year 2015 ~

via Daily Prompt: Mercy

Brian Jekel - Guardians of the Nativity (right side)

2015

Emotionally, not equipped to fight another sunrise.
Imprisoned, held captive in the chamber of my own mind, 
Intruding thoughts of not wanting to be alive,
Dissolution, depression, and despair.
Simply existing, collecting dust, 
Afflicted with not a care.
‘If there was a God, I begged for mercy‘,
I pleaded, “please let me go.”
“Please be quick, I fear this pain,
there’s no reason to be slow.”

 

Moonbeams glistened through the blinds one night,
an unseen force touched my hand.
Slight whisper, but out of sight,
“Child of mine, I know you don’t understand;
but, one day you will.”
Divine intervention,
a spiritual awakening, call it what you will.
The whisper spoke again;
“I’ve heard you plead for my mercy
through my guidance, you will ascend.”

 

The whisper still lingers,
his words of encouragement, and to restore my well being
by the gentle touch of his fingers.
He has blessed me with strength,
and endurance to fight with all my might.
He had other plans in store for me,
to help others through their plight.
Through prayer and perseverance, I had derived.
I was fortunate to be alive. 

 

 

 

 

 

November 2, 2017: A Successful Group Session To Report! Yeah!!!

  

Happy TGIF Eve to All of YOU!!!  
Okay…  I am really curious to find out how the weather is in your neck of the woods?  It’s the second day in November, and it was in the high 60’s-low 70’s degrees today in New Jersey when it had dropped down to 33 degrees two night ago.  We didn’t get to experience a normal Autumn season what so ever this year.  It went from Summer to Summer to a glimpse of Autumn, back to Spring-like temperatures in NOVEMBER.  WTF?????  And, there are people that don’t believe in global warming, yeah, okay.  So, what has the weather been like in your state or country?  
I finally have good news to report about my anxiety group.  The usual Thursday group “Peace & Progress aka Anxiety Group” was the best that it’s been in a month.  It was pleasing to know that what I said, was taken seriously.  (I should also include some of the other members that spoke too after I got the ball rolling).  The facilitator & intern ran the group the way we all felt comfortable with.  Everyone was able to talk, we were all involved in sharing how to handle certain issues, and coping skills.  In fact, the facilitator engaged us to talk more.  It was fantastic.
It was nice not to have to report our anxiety level between 1-10, one being low anxiety, 10 meaning you need to be committed to a hospital ASAP.  This is the way the group should run, and it ran the best it has since our old facilitator left back in September.  
What makes our group work is that we are not judgemental.  We are there to support one another when we are going through very difficult times, or are facing challenges and need advice, or ideas in order how to handle those moments without having to feel anxious.  This is key to all of us.  
Listen, people that suffer from crippling anxiety and/or panic need to advocate for themselves whether if it’s a group setting or if you are not satisfied with your therapist or doctor.  I’m not saying this is easy, but it’s necessary to stabilize your mental health disorders/illnesses.  I’ve said this time and time again…  Your feelings are validated, and your voice needs to be heard if you feel you are not getting the help you need. 
 Problems? limit them, please hahah   
Alright, my friends…  As you can see, this is a short entry and most of you are thinking… “Thank God!”  LOL!!!  Hopefully, The Peace & Progress aka Anxiety Group” saga is over with.
I hope that every one of you has a wonderful evening.
Take Care & God Bless,
Beckie

October 27, 2017: Sex Addiction – Harassment (Part 2)

Shame is the motor behind compulsive behavior.  –  Anonymous
Sexual Addiction, Depression, and the Emotional Affair By Therese Borchard Published Jun 18, 2014    http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/sexual-addiction-depression-and-the-emotional-affair/?pos=1xid=nl_EverydayHealthEmotionalHealth_20140627
Good Friday Afternoon to All of You today!  Hope everyone is as happy as I am that this week is over with.  After yesterdays ’bout with wondering how I was going to handle my group session, I had simply strived for calm last night as I lit tea lights all throughout my bedroom, I had written on my blog site, read some fantastic poetry, and a few short stories from other bloggers,  finished that up and laid down to watch a Netflix movie.  I can’t even remember what I attempted to watch last night.  I drifted asleep and didn’t wake until 11am this morning.
Okay, Tuesday I began writing about Sex Addiction & Harassment.  Today I will continue on Part 2. 
Whether it's alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, sex or relationships, the havoc and devastation you create is the same. There is a solution!!
Like with any other addictions such as alcoholism, drug abuse, gambling or sex, an addict engages his/her addiction in a compulsive manner.  It is not only unhealthy and painful but follows severe consequences not only to him/her but to others around.  This addiction is acting out a pattern compulsive sexual fantasies and behaviors.    The pattern begins as attempts where he/she is successful.  But, with this pattern, it is never enough.  He/she finds themselves to not have any limits, it turns into a constant thought process.
In most cases, he/she finds that success in this pattern ends, and with that comes an escalated sexual addiction that takes on a new form of life.  Nothing else matters to that person, but to have sexual contact regardless of the circumstances such as a relationship whether it boyfriend/girlfriend, marriage, his/her job, schooling and even within the confines of what is sacred such as the church or religious status.   
All addictions (Fundamentally speaking), are intimacy disorders, and sex addiction is no different.  A relationship is no other than sex to the addict, and if their partner is not interested in having sex all of the time as the addict is, complications develop between the partner and the addict.  Love is avoided, it’s all about the sex.

The Science of Sexual Addiction - Infographic

There are usually underlying problems surrounding a sex addict.  It is his/her way to manage their stress level or an escape from unmanageable feelings.  They only seek comfort, cravings, and relief from sex.  In layman’s terms, it’s a drug of their choice.   
Examples of Sexually Addictive Behavior:
  • Obsessive sexual and/or romantic fantasies
  • Compulsive masturbation
  • Compulsive use of pornography
  • Compulsive infidelities whether physical/emotional affairs
  • Anonymous sex
  • Compulsive use of strip clubs, use of prostitutes, and massage parlors
  • Exhibitionism
  • Compulsive pick-ups in person or use of mobile apps to meet people for sex
  • Sexual chatting, sexting, webcams, and hook-ups

Lust indulged became habit, and habit unresisted became necessity. What lust have you given into. What is your addiction. Resolve your Will.

Underlying Reasons for Sexual Addiction:
  • Disconnect or escape from difficult feelings
  • Mood-changer
  • Attempt to self-soothe
  • Way to validate and lifts one’s deflated self-worth
  • Confused attempt in finding love
  • Misguided attempt to improve low self-esteem
  • To feel powerful
  • Re-enactment of a childhood trauma
The worse case scenario for a sex addict, whether it be male or female is when it turns into Abuse & Harassment.  Here are a few that made headlines throughout the last 20 years or so…

Fourteen years after she was kidnapped, sexually abused, and held in captivity for nine months, Elizabeth Smart is fighting to change the way we talk about sex, rape, and abstinence. We visited her in her Utah home to learn more about her advocacy.

Elizabeth Smart was 14 years old when she was kidnapped from her bedroom.  She was sexually abused and held in captivity for 9 months.  The first thoughts she had was “I was kidnapped, raped and no one would want to marry me now; I’m worthless, I’m filthy, I’m dirty.”  Elizabeth currently advocates for sex, rape, and abstinence in Utah.

Suspended USC player agrees to plea deal in sexual assault case

USC (University of Salt Lake City) Utah 20-year-old linebacker Osa Masina agrees to a plea deal for up to 3 years in jail after sexually assaulting Bethany Warr. 

False narratives prevail in cases of sexual assault    It is hard for most of us to believe that someone we know and trust would be a rapist, yet the vast majority of sexual abusers are someone the victims know and trust.

Actor/Comedian Bill Cosby admitted to obtaining quaaludes to give o women he intended on having sex with.  Countless women accusers all had similar stories of sexual abuse brought on by Bill Cosby.  All the time he was married to his wife.

National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

Alright, my friends.  It is time for me to close for now.  I hope all of you enjoy your Friday evening, and Saturday morning.  It is time for me to kick back, eat some dinner, read my fellow bloggers, light some tea lights, and crochet the last remaining evening hours while watching some TV.
Take Care & God Bless,
Beckie