August 11, 2017: Question #3 – Antisocial Personality Disorder (Part 1)

What you should know about Antisocial Personality Disorder:

The way to mend the bad world is to create the right world.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Good Evening Folks, How are you?  Hope that you enjoyed your Friday.  Here in the “Enchanting” state of New Jersey (Not!), it was fairly gloomy all day.  Low lying dark clouds that looked as if they’d burst in a moments notice.  Yet, held off.  However, tomorrow is supposed to be another story for the “Garden State.”  Rain on & off throughout the entire day.  With that being said, I will be on Pinterest and Facebook for most of the day.  And/or…stimulate you fine people, with me writing another entry.
My day was fairly uneventful. Unless you consider trying to get your parrot to adapt to a new perch in his cage.  This is a perch in which allows him to grind his nails.  “Peanut” is not being responsive to it the way I thought he would.  This ritual of opening the door to his cage, and pitiful attempts of my trying to get him to become trustworthy of this new furniture in his domain, is proving to me intolerable to both of us.  With his hook beak that contains 200 lbs of pressure, I place myself in a very venerable position of sticking my hand in the cage and trying to pick him up with hopes that he is not going to remove a digit.  I repeat each and every time, “It’s okay Peanut, it’s okay.” but,  the constant flapping of wings indicates he’s not having any parts of this new addition.  At the current moment, he is content by pulling in the sheet that covers the back of his cage inward as a security blanket and indicates he will not be participating in sitting atop his new perch that I spent close to $20.00 dollars on yesterday.  I believe, that it’s in the best interest for both of us to resolve to the fact that I will have to remove said perch, and place the old one back in its place.  Then, come tomorrow, start this all over again.  So be it. 

Question #3

What was my all time favorite TV program when I was growing up?

“Little House on The Prairie” Hands down.  I so wanted to grow up in the Ingalls home, and be a pioneer of that time period.  I wanted my Dad to be more like Pa, but I still wanted my mom to be my mother.  Sure times were rough and unbearable, but they had that special bond of family unity.  For the most part, even the town was so close.  Yeah, there were times in which Nellie Olsen & her mother Harriet were as nasty as they could be.  However, they were still there for one another through the thick of it.  That is why I enjoyed the show so much.  The camaraderie, and unity.

“Little House on the Prairie” is one of the most successful dramatic series in television history. This TV legend began with the pilot in March of 1974, which introduced the Ingalls family to millions of viewers around the world. It was subsequently picked up as a series in September and ran on NBC for nine seasons until 1983.

AntiSocial Personality Disorder:

I thought I would venture on the following subject this time around.  The definition of Antisocial personality disorder is a mental condition in which a person has a long-term pattern of manipulating, exploiting or violating the rights of others.  This behavior could very well lead to criminal intent or worst.
The cause of this disorder is unclear.  As in most cases, “The good ole’ genes” play a part.  Other factors such as child abuse could contribute to developing this condition.  People with an alcoholic parent are at higher risk.  Far more for men than women are affected.  People who are arsons, or animal abusers during their childhoods are often keys to antisocial personality disorders.  

Here are just a few symptoms a person may convey:

  • Be able to act witty & charming.
  • Be good a flattery and manipulating others people’s emotions.
  • Often angry or arrogant.
  • Lie, steal. and fight often.
  • Disregard the safety of themselves or others.
  • Have problems with substance abuse.
  • No shame, guilt or remorse.
  • Breaks the law repeatedly.
Most people who are diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder is based on a psychological evaluation.  In a majority of people who are diagnosed with this disorder have had emotional and behavioral problems during childhood.  Antisocial personality disorder is one of the hardest disorders to treat.  In worst case scenarios, treatment usually is mandated by the court system for treatment. Behavioral treatments, such as talk therapy may help.
The frightening prognosis is that symptoms tend to peak during the late teens and the early 20’s. Sometimes, they can improve by the 40’s.  As I mentioned, it can be complicated if this person is imprisoned, use of drugs & alcohol, violence, and worse case scenario.  The patterns can vary in severity.  The more egregious, harmful or dangerous the behavior patterns could be then be referred to as a sociopathic or psychopathic.  (Which I will come back to).
Alright, my friends, I am going to close for this evening.  I actually began writing this afternoon around 4 pm, and now it’s almost 10:30 pm.  Between, having to get up and check on “Peanut” my parrot, and trying to help him deal with the new perch, I also had to find time for dinner.  
I will continue to tomorrow with high hopes of reporting that Peanut is surviving the perch ordeal, and continue on Antisocial Personality Disorder.  Until then, I hope that all of you have a pleasant evening and a pleasant beginning to your weekend.
Take Care & God Bless,







August 10, 2017: Short Entry This Evening Folks (No, Parts 1, 2 & 3) I Promise

We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with.  We already have capacities, talents, direction, missions, callings.  –  Abraham Maslow

slap an idiot day funny quotes quote lol funny quote funny quotes humor

Hi, Folks!!  Happy Friday Eve!!!  I for one, am looking so forward to sleeping in on Saturday morning.  Then again, I will probably do that to some extent tomorrow.  (Due to the fact that I am on disability).  That’s in case you didn’t know that. 
I would have written earlier today, but…  There simply was not one ounce of time until this moment to sit down and write now.  (9:45 pm, EST).  My day started with my “Peace & Progress Group” aka “Anxiety Group.”  Why in the hell the mental health facility ever changed the name is a mystery.  I mean really,  “Would you think were attending an anxiety group, when the darn thing is called “Peace & Progress?”  NOPE!!  Personally speaking, It sounds more like a “Trump vs. Congress, and every other Tom, Dick, and Harry!!!”  Okay…  Before I blow a gasket, “And, Yes, this is how I felt listening to one particular person within our group.”  Without getting into it too deeply, the picture above, states all you need to know.  This person seriously needs something better than anxiety group to deal with her issues.  She needs a month away to be assessed.  Okay… enough of that.  Again, I could go on and on for hours on that person. (And, that’s not like me to belligerently go off about someone in the group).  For the most part, I enjoy everyone within this group.  
After group, we were off to the pet store to load up on my parrot’s (Peanut’s) food and a new bar to put in his cage to help grind his nails down.  Afterward, it was running to the supermarket to obviously, food shop for us.  Then, drop off our friend back home, and get back home quick enough before all the frozen foods defrosted in the backseat of the car.  Then, once we arrived home, it was the unloading of the car and trying to maneuver the frozen food and beloved Italian Ices into the already stuffed freezer.  Plus, I had to water my potted garden in the backyard.  It may not sound like a tremendous amount to accomplish, but it is, and always is on Thursday’s for some odd reason.   

“And… This is why this is going to be the shortest entry I ever entered.”

I am simply going to ask my question to myself and answer it honestly to myself.  (This is my quest in finding self-discovery).

Question #2

What is it that attracts me to someone?
The simplicity in my answer is just this…  Quick witted, excellent personality, understanding and/or empathetic for when I feel down, respectful, honest, kind, sincere, trustworthy, and this applies to men & women alike.  “Oh Yeah, must love animals.”  I can’t believe I almost left that one out.  LOL!!
I know I probably shocked the day lights out of all of you by this being the shortest entry from me ever, but I require to put up my legs because I pushed them very hard today, and I really wanted to get to bed at a normal hour for once this week.
Until tomorrow, I hope you all have a pleasant & peaceful evening.  Take Care & God Bless. BeckieThe hour late, the distance enduring, the challenges...well let's say they just challenges:) It's from the east where the wind starts as a whisper and falls upon the west with the most vigorous of storms, storms of the heart. As I take to the land of dreams, it's the storm that fires my spark and fills my soul with such's now in the land of dreams where my star warms my drench stolen soul............till then....sleep well....YF





August 9, 2017: Who Am I? Who Are You? My Decision to Find Me. (Part 3)

The best part of getting lost is finding yourself.

Let us become the change we seek in this world – Mohandas Gandhi

Greeting’s All!!  Happy Hump Day to you!!!  I also wanted to shout out to my Niece Monica, Happy 15th Birthday.  I hate to seem cliche… But, Wow time flew between her birth to the peent day.  I hope all her birthday wishes come true.  How are all of you doing on this fine day?  Heck, for all I know, it’s raining where you are, sunny, dark, or just another day to get through.  Well, where ever you may be from, I hope you are having a happy middle of the week.  
I have nothing new & exciting going on today.  I’m currently listening to my parrot “Peanut” singing “You Are My Sunshine” and mixing it with whistling to the “Andy Griffeth Show.”  He is also making up his own tunes for which are making me crack up with laughter.  I’m expecting him to announce… “This is a little something I wrote myself.”  LOL!!!  Oh, how I do adore my little green son.  🙂
Alright, so I ended last night with exclaiming that my journey in finding me began the day I was admitted to the hospital back on August 16, 2015.  And, if you have been following my blog, you know all the circumstances prior, and after my stint there.  You also know the reason behind me beginning my blog, and now are just learning along with me… “Who am I?”  It’s an ambitious question that I have meandered around inside my head for some time now.  “More recently so lately.”  I’m really not sure even why the thought entered my already jumbled mind in the first place.  However, I have been doing a great deal of soul searching, self-discovery, and spiritual awakening.

find yourself and be that | quote

I decided the best way to self-discovery was this.  I would ask myself questions daily, for at least a month.  It would be an experiment in embracing each answer with the truth.  Each day from now, I will submit the question to myself and search for my honest answer.  Maybe, I will learn from my answers, the self-discovery in which I search for.  If you would like to challenge yourself with the same very questions, please feel free to do so.  If not my questions, then start your own questionnaire.
In the meantime, I won’t continue a (part 4, 5, 6 etc…) with this journey, I will just begin each of my future entries with the questions that I decide to ask myself.  Then continue to write about the subject matter that I want to either share and/or educate.  “Sound like a plan?”  Good.  Today, however, I will end this entry with my first question and continue from here on forward.  My message is this…  Stop being your own worst enemy, stop lying to yourself, don’t hold back your emotions and feelings pertaining to all that you question.  I am truly hoping that I find the freedom that is hidden within my realm of being.  I’m hoping to be rewarded at the end of this questionnaire of sorts to justify me being, “Who Am I.”

Question #1

What is something I truly miss?  (This is a 2 part answer if I could be honest here).  I miss seeing my mother more often than I do now.  I loved hanging out with her when she lived here in N.J.  I miss the meals together on the weekend when I would stay at her home.  I miss how we would find something to always talk about.  (Even though we do that now on the phone, but it quite isn’t the same thing).  I miss us watching a TV show, comedy for the most part, and laughing our butts off.  Or, watching an emotional drama, and discussing it thereafter.  I miss us exchanging books with one another, and discussing them after we had read them.  I miss her beaming smile.  I watching or talking to her goofy cat “Sweetie Pie.”  I definitely miss helping her in times when she was here and she was ill.  Being that she is over 1000 miles away now, kills me.  It’s because I don’t have control over anything.  I want to hold her hand and be with her when she is ill to at least try and comfort her. I miss that “Back in the day” when I was younger, how we use to share our clothes because we were the same size.  I miss the times we use to play Circus Attari and pretend it was cousin Justin’s head breaking the balloons.  I miss that after I got out of the hospital, we would sit at her kitchen table and listen to music while coloring mandalas.  I miss her supportive hugs, and encouragement during those rough times.  All in all, what I miss more, is that she did move so far away.  I love her so dearly.
(Part 2 of my answer)…  I miss the earlier days with my boyfriend, fiance’ and then husband.  My God, I missed our inside jokes and laughter.  I miss the evenings we would kick back and watch movies one right after the other when we didn’t have to go to work.  I miss the way he used to look at me, and I just knew in my heart that he loved me unconditionally.  I miss our rides from NY to NJ in order to visit our families.  I miss us singing to our favorite songs together.  I miss the concert we use to go to, “And… were plenty of them.”  I miss the holidays and getting ready for them. I miss us playing with all our pets, and finding joy in just plain being together during camping trips.  I miss the making up after an argument.  I miss the fact that we had what was so wonderful for close to 15 years.  I miss the thought of us getting back together again after our divorce, and acknowledging that it would never happen after his untimely death.  I simplicity of miss “Us.”
Alright, my friends…  I am going to close for now.  Hoping you have a pleasant rest of the day and a very peaceful evening.  Take Care & God Bless.  














August 8, 2017: Who Am I? Who Are You? My Decision to Find Me. (Part 2)

Buddha: "Since Everything is a reflection of our minds...Everything can be changed by our minds."

How is Everyone doing today?  and/or early this evening?  (Depending upon where you reside).  
Today was fairly decent for me.  I had my psychiatrist appointment scheduled, yet again to   “Tweak” my meds.  Actually, it was my bad.  I had misunderstood her instructions regarding the dosage of my Neurontin, aka (Gabapentin).  I thought I was to take 900 ml a day but was only advised to take 600 ml.  “My bad.”   And… This may be the reason behind me being so overly forgetful, and easily sidetracked.  Which my friends call “Squirreled.”  As if we are dog’s that jump at the chance when something catches their attention.  After that was straightened out, I had my next appointment with my therapist.  “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…  I just love her.”  Her insight and ability to listen to me ramble on for 45 minutes, is truly helpful.  She makes me reflect on certain memories, the good, bad and the ugly. All in all, a good session.
The most ironic thing to happen to me today was the driver that picked me up today.  I usually use the Lyft car service when don’t have other means of getting to my appointments.  His name was Makesh.  A 65-year-old Hindu.  “You know the saying…God puts people in your life for a reason?” Well,  I think God worked in mysterious ways with the ride home today.  Makesh was intuitive with what I’ve lately been writing about.   He covered a realm of natural remedies, meditation, mantras, and the meaning of “Om.”  As he spoke, it was as if he was guiding me to understand the fundamentals and perspective on my quest for self-discovery and spiritual awakening.  This ride home had nothing to do with me talking about the subject matter, it all began with a simple “Hello, how are you this afternoon?”  It was as if we were synchronized in the same pattern of thought.  Here it is…  I had literally just started this blog entry yesterday, and here is this man I never met before until today, sharing his experiences with spiritual awakening, and finding the meaning in life.  He delighted me the whole trip home.  I actually wished that we could speak more, but he had another ride scheduled to pick up.  “Poof”,   Makesh was gone.  A 15-minute drive added light to my already inquisitive mind.

"Everyone who comes into your life, comes to teach you something". The object is to learn the lesson they bring.

“As far back as I can remember, I have always been hard on myself.  I criticized everything about myself.  My hair, body image, conscious of how loud I laughed, you name it.  I was my own worse enemy.  Although I received compliments, I never took it to heart.  I just figured people were just trying to be nice to me, and it was just a passing statement.  The funny thing that I accepted was a compliment on my eyes.  I will admit, that was the only thing that I did like about myself.”  LOL!!

This past 2 years, I had gained so much weight due to taking Seroquel for my insomnia.  However, this sets off a chain of events by craving sugary and salty foods.  “Little Debbie’s, Oatmeal Cream Pies had no chance around me.”  I may as well have put the box up to my face like a feed bag. Through all of this and my physical problems with my knees and back, I was a disaster.  It also didn’t help with my mental health issues of being severely depressed.  But…  Through this entire bout of feeling down, I tried desperately to find the positive in anything, because that is what I was taught.  I was re-learning how to become the new me.  Focus less on the negative, and more so on the positive, which was the hardest thing to do under the circumstances in which my life spiraled as far down as you can get.  
I had to restructure my whole way of thinking.  My initial thoughts were “Was it too late for me to begin anew?”  – “How in the hell was I going to fix what was broken?” – “Was the therapist and case workers encouraging me to chase a dream that was in the distance, never to be caught up to?”  My racing thoughts of these very questions kept me up all night at times.  “How was I ever going to reach being able to feel happiness, and guttural laughter again?”
Although I had made outstanding friends within the walls of that temporary housing facility, I became isolated by choice.  I still kept my appointments for the therapist, psychiatrist, and my anxiety group, but I had also joined a women’s group through the housing facility.  We met every other Monday.  It wasn’t a large group, but it was a group of women that were engaged in conversations, and helping one another out with suggestions through the rough patches of existing in the world we had come to know.  I will admit this, It was empowering at times.  I would leave there feeling pretty good about myself.  However, the isolation that I placed myself in, was to regain what little self-confidence that I was lacking.  
It has been several months in the making to learn more about myself and to find purpose.  As I said yesterday, that is why I began a blog in the first place.  It was my personal journey I wanted to share with others and to empower them as well.  To educate, and be here for a support.  Yet, I still had to find out “Who am I?”  Seriously, “Who was the real me?”

“My new beginning was the day I was admitted into the hospital on August 16, 2015.”

The very first thing I learned, was to stop beating myself up.  
I will continue this search of self-discovery & spiritual awakening with you folks tomorrow.  I haven’t eaten a thing all day, and I am rather ravenous at this point.  LOL!!  No, no “Little Debbie’s Oatmeal Cream Pies” I promise you that.  
I hope you have a wonderful evening.  
Take Care & God Bless,  Beckie

















August 7, 2017: Who Am I? Who Are You? My Decision to Find Me… (Part 1)

Image result for self discovery quotes

Good Evening My Friends.  I hope everyone has had a pleasant weekend and you are well rested for the upcoming week ahead of you.  I’ve got to say, I really enjoyed this weekend.  Saturday, was all consuming by setting up my diffuser and concoctions in order to relax, unwind and explore the idea of this item assisting me to get a restful night’s sleep.  “I am pleased to announce that it actually did!!”  However, again, this may not be helpful to others, but it certainly impacted my sleep pattern. On Sunday, after a splendid nights rest, I, my roommate and mutual friends got together to go to Duke Island Park in Somerset County, N.J., and enjoy several food trucks to choose from, and listen to the Duprees perform.  What a great time to enjoy sitting outdoors.  It wasn’t hot and muggy outside, and the park was filled with people of all ages.  The Duprees sound system could have been considerably better, but it was fun singing along to the oldies but goodies.  “Volarie…  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa…” was awesome. What was even better, was to watch the elderly couples holding one another close, and dancing to the harmony that filled the evening air.  How I envied them.  The history they must have had together, seemingly, seeped to my core of being to watch them share yet, another memory together.  All in all, a very enjoyable evening to spend with friends.
After the evening was coming to a close, and the “Good Byes” were exchanged, I went upstairs into my room and proceeded with my night time ritual of getting settled.  Obviously, setting up my diffuser with potion’s was high on my “List of Things to do”, but also taking off several pillows on my bed, turning the covers down, changing my clothes, and refilling my vapor modular, was it then I turned on my computer to post positive quotes of inspiration to my Facebook page.  I also checked into my Reddit to see if there were any new updates.  However, I kept reflecting on the evening that I had just had.  In fact, it was wonderful to reflect on the times that I have had over the last few months. How, for the first time in years I have sincerely smiled, and laughed.  How that I found myself being happy could yet happen again, especially after having the worse few years of my life were  “Hopefully” behind me.  

“The world is before you and you need not take it or leave it as it was when you came in.”  –  James Baldwin

A few months back I wrote about “Defining Self” and “Sense of Self.”   I now turn my attention to “My Journey of Self-Discovery.”  Self-Discovery is discovering a process in which you are, becoming more aware of your true potential, character, and motive.  Learning more about yourself and who you are.  “Do you know who you are?”  I can honestly admit, I didn’t know who I truly was up until the last year in a half, but more so up until recent months.  “And, still learning.”  

Happiness comes from you and no one else.

It wasn’t the case of being ignorant towards what made me happy, it was the absence of knowing HOW to be happy by being my true self.  I had no idea who my true self-was. I lived with this feeling for most of my life.  Don’t get me wrong…  I wasn’t a complete bump on a log or the dullest human being known to all that knew me, it was that I wasn’t exactly being truthful to myself.  Think of it this way…  “How many hats do you wear each day? The wife/husband hat, daughter/son hat, sister/brother hat, boss/co-worker hat, etc… “Hats for all sizes, and all different occasions.” – “Which hat did you find the most comfort in? ” – “Which hat made you feel like the real you?”  Are these difficult questions to answer?  They are to me.  I felt like my   “Hat” was more like a “Mask” to hide me.  This is when it dawned on me… “Why was I wearing all these damn hats, and mask?”  Was I going to a masquerade party?  Nah, I’m not a real partier.  LOL!!!
As I mentioned, it wasn’t until recent months that this self-discovery started to form.  In prior posts, I obviously shared with you what my fears and anxieties are and what keeps my mind racing.  In other words, a very unstable road in which to travel.  But, I was persistent in finding “Me.”  Thank goodness for all the work, and help I got along the way.  I always have gratitude towards the people that got me to this point.  They included the mental health facility, caseworkers, friends, and definitely without fail, my mom.  
My self-discovery is obviously intensely personal.  As it would be for every individual.  My personal journey for self-discovery included digging in deep within my childhood memories.  Whether the memories were enjoyable, sorrowful, ecstatic, wretched or shaken (Not stirred).  I revisited all of these emotions time and time again.  But, learned to leave the past where it belonged.  “In the past.” By encompassing my own teachings and spiritual beliefs, the effects of self-discovery included happiness, fulfillment, clarity, and enlightenment.  It gave me confidence, self-worth, and purpose.  I had to learn to let go of people who didn’t serve a purpose in this new self-discovery.  All they did was “Take” from me.  These people took from me because I allowed them to.  In some cases, the relationships were clever in creating a one-sided road.  And, like an ass, I allowed this continue for nearly 7 LONG years.  “Thank God that relationship is done and over with.”


With this change and self-discovery came my passion within.  To begin to write, but to write with a purpose.  That is why I started “Beckie’s Mental Mess” in the first place.  Not only for my readers and follower’s but, for me to grow spiritually, and mentally accepting of my illness.  Justifiably, giving me a new beginning.  
Well, Folks.  It is time for me to close for now, and go through my ritual of settling down for the evening.  I will continue to write (Part 2) tomorrow evening.   I do hope all of you have a restful evening as well.
Take Care & God Bless,

Pink Lotus flower







August 6, 2017: My Quest to Find Ways of Reducing Anxiety When it Disrupts Your Sleep

Read once that the average person falls asleep in 7 minutes.  It takes me 1 to 1.5 hours generally - who is the jerk getting to sleep in seconds that balances that average?

The Change of one simple behavior can affect other behaviors thus change many things.  –  Jean Baer

Happy Sunday Afternoon to All of You!!  I do hope that everyone has had a pleasant weekend so far.  I have to admit, mine has been very enlightening and peaceful.  This past Friday, August 4, 2017, I wrote a piece about “What Do You Do When Anxiety Disrupts Your Sleep”  I had also tried to engage others in asking pertinent questions and feed back with regards to this very subject.  However, I didn’t hear back from anyone.  I truly was in search of answers as to how people conquer their demons called “Anxiety.”  I think by now, everyone knows what anxiety is, and what it can do to us. I think I can sum it up for all of that suffer this mental health issues … “It sucks the life right out of you!!”  Yet, when it starts to dominate our attempts in trying to fall asleep, and/or stay asleep, it can become a health concern.  
I also mentioned in that piece, that this was a discussion amongst the people within the group I attend at my mental health facility called “Peace & Progress” aka “Anxiety Group.”  All were in agreement that coping skills, and mediation did not work “All of The Time.”  However, everyone has their own methods in how to cope with this ongoing saga, and not everyone reacts the same to what & how is suggested by groups and/or therapy.  This is when I became devoted in my quest to search for other suggestions and/or strategies to assist with anxiety and sleep. 

Having trouble sleeping? Try these essential oils for deep sleep that promote relaxation and a restful sleeping environment. Sweet Lullaby diffusion blend with Lavender, Cedarwood, Bergamot and Vetiver.


The evening of August 4, 2017, in an empathetic attempt to help others with this pain-staking plight of anxiety/sleep disorder I took the time to ambitiously investigate other resources to inform others of a different method of calming the “Racing Thoughts & Hyperactive” mindset.  
I read an article involving essential oils, and the effects they have on individuals with all sorts of mental health issues, as well as others that meditate, practice yoga, even people who run spas.   The Elixir of certain oils blended can be in some cases considered  “The Ambien”  sleep aid.  Now, I don’t know all about that, but… I took it one step further.  That evening, I enthusiastically went on the Amazon website to order an Essential Oil Diffuser, along with 18 essential oils to mix potions in order to find ways for a restful nights sleep.  (Please note, I didn’t order all the essential oils for this project because I am not Rockefeller).  However, I did have most of them.  Here are a few of the combos that were suggested.

Combos Include:

  • 2 drops Lavender & 2 drops Marjoram
  • 3 drops Lavender & 2 drops Vetiver
  • 2 drops Cedarwood, 2 drops Lavender & 2 drops Vetiver
  • 3 drops Cedarwood & 3 drops Bergamot
  • 4 drops Lavender & 3 drops Bergamot
I had purchased the essential oils from “Radha Beauty”,  it is 100% therapeutic grade oils.  
Yesterday, I received my order and automatically set up the diffuser, color coded my essential oils, and alphabetically aligned the in a box to hold all of them.  (The OCD part of me kicked in).  LOL!!  I then went back online to look up other methods of calming and soothing my nerves, as well as energize myself.  Methods to increase my concentration and focus.  The list went on.  Again, I didn’t have all the oils, but I had a good start in proceeding to mix my potions.  “Yeah!!!”  I read more about my diffuser and learned that not only did it have a setting of a cool humidifier, but it had a setting in which to select a soothing color, along with a timer.  After I had mixed a few of the suggested oils for relaxation, I continued to read more about how these simple oils worked.  I highly suggest you dedicate the time to reading about it yourself.  
My overall opinion of using this method in relaxation and sleep combo of 4 drops Lavender & 3 drops Bergamot provided me a sense of calm, and tranquility.  “Naturally, of course, I still had to take my prescribed medication in addition to mixing up my suggested potion.” But, I did notice a difference, and I slept very well this past evening.  In fact, it worked so well, that even when I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I still went back to sleep without intrusive thoughts running through my mind.
I do realize again that this may not work for everyone, but I tried to be open-minded to natural ways to fall asleep, and stay asleep. I still would love to hear from my readers and followers how they deal with their sleeping/anxiety issues, and their suggestions and ideas for a restful night sleep?
For now, I am about to get ready to go out with my friends to a food truck festival and listen to the Duprees at  Duke Island Estate Park in Somerset County, N.J.  My friends and I have been looking forward to this for weeks now.  In the meantime, I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday afternoon & evening.  
Take Care & God Bless, Beckie






August 4, 2017: What Do You Do When Anxiety Disrupts Your Sleep?

especially Bailee with her insomnia

Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind.  –  Helen Keller

Hello, Everyone.  Happy T.G.I.F. to you ALL!!!  “We made it!!!”  I for one am ecstatic that today is Friday.  As I mentioned throughout the course of this week, it felt as if it was dragging along at a glacier’s pace.  The beginning of the week with me smashing into the bathroom floor wasn’t enough. I had to go back to my orthopedic to have the last of my injections put in both knees.  “Let me tell you this… Tears ran down my face as the last of the needles entered my already swollen, bruised left knee.  I gripped the table as if my fingers were going to leave a permanent indentation.”  My ortho told me that the last of the shots were going to hurt and that I would feel some additional pressure because the gel was working its way through my knees, but this pain was intolerable.  As the day progressed, the pain was not subsiding.  I just wanted to lay in bed and keep off my legs.   However, my roommate Jodi, friend Jason, and I were busy the entire day after our Group.
Yes, Thursday’s are our “Peace & Progress Group” aka, “Anxiety Group.”  After we went through the checking in process of how we were feeling, we got into the subject of anxiety kicking in when we are trying to fall asleep at night.  It was as if in unison, we agreed to be the worse experience to endure when you are just plumb tuckered out.  Of course, I open my mouth as I state that coping skills and grounding techniques work, but it was agreed by just about everyone in the room, that in some cases it simply doesn’t work all the time.  I also threw in my two cents adding that meditation works as well.  Yet again, voices chimed in exclaiming that this didn’t always work either.  We all experience anxiety differently.  Whether it’s before we try to fall asleep, or wake up in the middle of the night with horror pumping through our veins.  During the evening hours is when the anxiety tends to become amplified, and overwhelming.

“I am asking my readers this very question…  Do you have anxiety at night?”  I, as well as other’s, want to know how you handle this? What do you do when this happens to you?  Do you experience racing thoughts?  How do you go about calming & soothing this intense feeling?”I don't "fall asleep" - I overthink myself into a coma.

Causes of evening anxiety worsen may be caused by several issues, including the association of bed with stress, a lack of distraction forcing you to think about your anxiety and simply put, “Being drained.”    Some of the group either experienced having difficulty falling asleep and even when they eventually accomplished it, they still awoke feeling like they were run over by a truck.  They awoke feeling more exhausted than before they went to sleep in the first place.  Other’s felt that an impending appointment the following day would keep them awake.  They would take their medication and lay down, but their minds were still in overdrive mode, and the clock became their worse enemy.  “Doze off for a half hour, awake to see it was 2:30 am,  their anxiety kicked in, and they started the count down in their head, as to how many hours they had remaining before they had to awake for that appointment.  2:30 am became 3:15 am, then 3:50 am, then 4:30 am, and so on.”  Obviously, this is a very unhealthy sleep pattern.  Heck, this is several months ago, before I moved away from Alternatives, Inc., temporary housing, I would suffer for weeks one right after the other with only 2-3 hours a night with broken sleep.  It was grueling to say the very least.  I walked around like a zombie most times.  Then, there were the times where I felt my whole body and mind shut down, and I would literally crash and sleep for an entire day, yet still feel exhausted when I awoke.  It was as if electricity was pumping through me, and I couldn’t turn off my brain.  
The causes of evening anxiety are somewhat unclear, in that there isn’t anything about anxiety that should increase in the evenings.  For this, it means that each person suffering from evening anxiety likely has their own specific reason.
Many people experienced considerable anxiety after work, because of the way their work caused them significant stress.  I can only speak from the personal reflection of my last job.  I would drive home, hands clenched on the steering wheel, talking to myself and cursing a great deal.  I then had no idea how to shut down and remained tense even after being home for a few hours.  Most of you know by now after reading past posts, that I was drinking wine a great deal after one of my fun-filled days.  Not a good combo obviously.  I would have thoughts that drinking would assist in my sleeping, but I was so wrong with that assumption.  I was also jealous of the people who claimed if they had a drink or two, they would collapse into a coma.  That was the total opposite for me.  I would wake up shaking, and holding onto my chest for dear life, hoping and praying for the anxiety to pass, but it never did.  I would just repeat my days of going to work feeling like utter crap and coming home to attempt to calm my nerves by swinging back tumblers of wine.  My behavior was beyond bizarre.

Must... have... sleep...

Usually, during the day you’re very busy.  Distractions are actually an important tool for relieving anxiety.  If focusing on something that keeps your mind steadfast on a project at hand, this keeps you from feeling the sensations of your stress.  But, once all of that is over and the distractions are gone, anxiety has a tendency to bubble back up to the surface again.  
There are several reasons for evening anxiety to play a role in broken, to non-existent sleep.  Restless Leg syndrome is a condition that starts in the evening and can lead to pain and discomfort in the legs.  It may make it harder to sleep and cause anxiety symptoms whenever it starts to occur. Events.  For example, if an argument occurs early in the evening, and doesn’t dissipate before bed time, that can keep you up at night because you are ruminating and simmering over it.  Another form of anxiety in the evening hours is hyperventilation as well as aches and pains and fatigue.  Those with anxiety attacks may react to these feelings with greater levels of anxiety.  Since each person has their own triggers, those with evening anxiety may have more difficulty.  For women, menopause can also cause sleep problems.  “Again, I can only speak from my personal experience…I had the whole ball of wax playing against me.”  It’s a wonder to this day, how I didn’t kill myself.  

Earlier in this piece, I posted some questions pertaining to “How and/or What you do when the evening anxiety becomes too much?”  I sincerely want to hear from you.  This could very well help another to get a better nights sleep.

In my own personal quest to find a better restful evening, I am going to give this idea a whirl…  I just ordered myself an Aromatherapy Kit for myself.  I looked up a site that recommended top essential oils for stress, anxiety, depression, and sleep. Her name is Kris Carr.  The site can be found at #essentialoils to support healthy # sleep, boost your mood & reduce #stress. @ Kris_Carr.  

I ordered a diffuser with a cool mist humidifier. 18 essential oils such as Rose, Bergamot, Lavender, Jasmine, and several others.  I am either receiving it today, if not tomorrow.  I hope to share with you positive results in a later blog post.  Until then, I hope you enjoy your Friday evening.  
Take Care & God Bless,

Trouble resting at night? Find out how you can sleep better with essential oils.