October 16, 2017: I Am So Flaberghasterd That I Hit 100 Followers!!!!!

Keep writing!

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.  

– Sydney J. Harris 

Good Evening My Friends!  I hope all of you are well on the early Monday evening.  
I know it’s a milestone, but I just saw my stats after not writing on my blog for the last couple of days and noticed that “I Hit 100 Followers.”  To be honest, I was shocked.  I can’t Thank You All enough for getting me to this point.  The funny thing about this is that today I wanted to make an announcement regarding my blog.  It was a hard decision, but it really is necessary for me to do this.  
I’m going to be cutting back a bit with my entries.  Instead of daily, I am going to do 2-3 entries per week.  As most of you know, I have had issues with my sleeping pattern.  I thought it was nipped in the butt, but (LOL!!!) I am still having extreme difficulty in falling asleep again.  Although, I had seen my psychiatrist only last week to discuss tweaking my medication “Yet Again”, it is an adjustment that is taking its toll on me.  
Another reason being is…  I had wanted to join the “The Perfect Imperfect Bunch” and was graciously accepted to join.  Within the week and a half of doing so, I gained 64 followers, which stunned me even more.  
This past weekend, Sunday to be precise…  I was supposed to do a poem that consisted of 1000-1200 words.  Well, due to not being able to see without my missing glasses for three consecutive days, I only started working on it on Friday, 10/13/2017.  “There, I chose the most unlucky day to attempt something I had never done before.”  Of course, I had written short poems before, but nothing like this before.  Saturday morning came, and I woke up with a vengeance.  I literally lifted my box spring & mattress up high enough and spotted the missing glasses.  “Eureka!!!”  
With roughly 3 hours of sleep under my belt, I continued to work on this poem.  I truly had no idea that it would take the wind out of me.  “To be honest, a blog is much easier.”  However, I kept plugging along and consuming mass quantities of coffee.  
By the time my rough draft was completed and I had 1032 words, I was then entering it onto the TPIB site.  I was fatigued and quite cranky when the said poem was finally (What I thought was completed) at 2:30 ish Sunday morning.  It wasn’t until yesterday afternoon around 6 pm ish, that I noticed there were only 856 (If memory serves) words in my poem “Words…Here, There and Everywhere.”  I was so disgusted after reading my rough draft, that I noticed I left out a complete paragraph.  I was mortified.
That wasn’t until I read what Grabetty Covens wrote in his review of my poem.  He brought tears to my eyes, literally speaking.  Thank you for uplifting my spirit today Grabetty!!!  
Today, was a very hectic day for me.  I had to see my new dermatologist in order to have my right leg examined.  It had only taken nearly 6 months to find one that accepted my insurance, and she was shocked to see how bad my leg was.  I was prescribed an ointment to put on it for the time being, but have to go back to her again in November to have a biopsy done.  “Yippy.”  
After that was done, I went food shopping “Finally.”  I had intentions of doing that for close to a week but never had the chance to do it.  Then I really had to take care of things around the home, that I had placed on the back burner for a week as well.  
Tomorrow, I have plans on catching up with a lot of reading of other writers here on WordPress and the TPIB site.  I miss them.  I simply didn’t have the energy to pull it up over the last two days.
Again, I want to Thank You All for following me and hope that you understand that I have to cut back a bit in order to work on more projects through TPIB.  A shout out to Nitesh & Grabetty for all their patience in driving these poor men crazy with all my questions.  You are both the greatest!!!!
One more little note…  I reblogged it to BeckiesMentalMess, because my Mom follows too.  She didn’t have access to reading it on the TPIB and Facebook. Love you Mom for all your support that you give me day in and day out.  
Okay, my friends, it’s now that time where I have to eat dinner and relax.  I hope that you all have a pleasant evening, and I will check you guys out tomorrow.
Take Care & God Bless You!!!
Beckie
 

 

Words… Here and There and Everywhere

So, how do I say it; how do I start? I’ll start it but simply, straight from my heart. Words are woven like a delicate tapestry… Embroidered intricate threads through needles, distinct stitches, an eternal memory. Influenced by wars and regimes of countries. Exploration illustrated painstakingly with blood tipped fingers. A medley of fabric then […]

via Words… Here and There and Everywhere — The Perfectly Imperfect Bunch

What Lies Beneath The Cloaked One?

Weathered and tattered the cloaked one roams… Succumbed by the chilling penetrating winds – It’s an uphill battle as she searches, for the village and her warm inviting home. Fighting the calamity that surrounds her senses… She stumbles across the rickety fences. Off in the distances, an illusion of light… With each tormented step closer, […]

via What Lies Beneath The Cloaked One? — The Perfectly Imperfect Bunch

October 12, 2017: Prescription Glasses Still MIA – My Own Little Research on Sleep Apnea

Photograph Bianna by Kseniya Filtschew on 500px

Follow your dream…  if you stumble, don’t stop and lose sight of your goal, press onto the top.  For only on top can we see the whole view.  – Amanda Bradley

Good Afternoon My Friends.  Happy Friday Eve to each and every one of you!!!!
Today, was my third day of going to my mental health facility.  First, it was my therapist, then my psychiatrist, and last was my “Peace & Progress aka Anxiety Group.”  It’s official, I’m done having my brain being dissected for the week.
If you remember back close to a month ago when we said our Goodbye’s to our original facilitator, It was then my roommate and I both claimed we would give the new one at least 2 weeks?  Well. last week didn’t really count because not only wasn’t the facilitator not there but neither were we due to us never waking up on time for the group.  Well, I am pleasantly surprised that I really enjoyed today’s group.  (Of course, I can only speak for myself) but, I really appreciated the fact that he engaged us into really digging deeply into how each one of us was truly doing this past week. 
There was only one let down.  Evidently, my roommate & I were not the only ones to feel the way we did in the beginning of “Changing of The Guards” so to speak.  Several other’s did appear to drop out of the group.  (Again, only my opinion)  but, some of which I won’t miss at the very least.  Other’s on the other hand, I think if they allowed themselves to have given the new facilitator a chance, they too would be pleasantly surprised as well.  I am pleased though, that the group itself is back to being at a normal amount of people between 8-10 people.  This way, everyone is able to check in, and that was one of our biggest complaints before the change had taken place.

On another note, my prescription glasses are still MIA.  “I simply don’t understand how one moment they are there, the next POOF, they’re missing.” 

Channel your inner nerd with this geek-chic eyeglasses. Comes with clear lenses. Gender : Unisex Degree : Plain mirror (no degree)

I was at least able to move my eye exam up to the 20th.  I don’t know how I’m going to handle not being able to read without my other glasses though.  I’m already developing headaches caused by not having the real McCoys on the bridge of my nose for close to two weeks from now, but there is nothing I can do until then.  “Oh Well!”

Next Item to discuss…  Sleep Apnea:

Since my psychiatrist ordered me to go for a sleep study, I figured I’d look into this one myself.  I honestly did not think that this was considered a disorder, but guess what?   It is.  Sleep Apnea is a common disorder in which you have one or more pauses in breathing or shallow breaths while you sleep.  Why this was never suggested by my primary or psychiatrist way before now is a mystery to me. Here I’ve been taking several types of sleeping medications for the last three years because of insomnia when it could have been Sleep Apnea issues causing all this fatigue.  This is why it’s important to advocate for yourself at all times when it comes to any & all medical issues.
My Mother had Sleep Apnea and had to wear what is called a CPAP.  (Which I’ll get back to).
For lack of a better word…this condition breaks your sleep from a deep REM sleep to a light sleep.  My psychiatrist asked me if I snored.  “I do”  Heck, not have I been told I do, but I wake myself up from my snore at times.  “Don’t I sound attractive to sleep with guys?  Ooh, baby, I’m hot stuff. Not!”  
Sleep Apnea can usually go undetected during regular doctor visits.  It sure as heck can’t be detected by way of blood tests.  It’s usually a bed partner that notices this because you sure can’t figure this one out if your the one sleeping.  The most common Sleep Apnea is obstructive sleep apnea.  This is when the airway collapses or becomes blocked during sleep, and this is what causes the pauses between breathing.
“When I look back over time, just about every male I ever knew had massive snoring problems.  To the point of me shoving them, bouncing the mattress up & down, and tapping them and telling them to roll over.  Don’t get me wrong here, it’s not like I slept around, it’s just every male I have ever known has had this issue.”
There is another type of Sleep Apnea referred to as Central Sleep Apnea, this too is the less of the two evils.  This disorder occurs when the brain controls your breathing and doesn’t send the correct signals to your breathing muscles.  Central Sleep Apnea can affect anyone.  However, it’s more common in people who have certain medical conditions or Use certain medications.  Also, Central Sleep Apnea does not include all people with snoring problems.  

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Managing a better quality of life (and, of course, sleep) a CPAP machine might be prescribed if after your sleep study show you have Sleep Apnea.  A CPAP provides mild air pressure to keep the airways open during sleep.  
Sometime in the next few weeks, I will undergo my sleep study and will learn if I do in fact have Sleep Apnea.  In the meantime, I will continue researching and will add to this entry what I do learn. 

Sleep Apnea Infographic: What is Obstructive Sleep Apnea? #health #dentistry #sleep

Here is a look at what I am reviewing (Thanks to my trustworthy Pinterest) LOL!!!
As for now, I am going to close.  I hope all of you have a restful evening, and I’ll wish you a Happy Friday in advance!!!!
Take Care & God Bless!
Beckie

October 11, 2017: Murphy’s Law – Written By The Blind

Pretty much sums up my life...and that's why I'm so emotionless a lot , because I always expect the worse and I can handle it usually chill

Good Evening Everyone!  How was your day?  Have you ever woke up, and from the moment you placed one foot in front of the other and the day automatically turned into crap?  “Usually, this only takes place after hitting the snooze button one too many times, and you wake up late.  Am I right?”  Or, “You stub your toe on the edge of your bed or piece of furniture, and can’t quite see out of your left eye for a couple of moments?”  OR  “You are running late after hitting that damn snooze button for over a half hour, get out of the bed in a rapid rush, jump into what you thought would be a nice hot shower, and you turn blue from frostbite, then you proceed to make your coffee, and instead of pouring creamer into that beautiful mug of solace, you inadvertently pour the orange juice into it instead?”   
Yes, I can honestly admit all of these events have happened to me in the past.  However, this morning was something new to add to the list of bizarre things that take place in my weird existence.  
Naturally, I had my normal evening of not being able to fall asleep (Shocker).  But, when I usually have had enough of watching Netflix, I remove my glasses from the bridge of my nose and place them either on the nightstand alongside me or, plop them atop my laptop.  After only sleeping 4.5 hours, I awake to the alarm (Without hitting the snooze a dozen times) and reach over for my glasses to place back on my face.  My hand hit every surface of my nightstand but by this time, I couldn’t hold back from running (Or, in my case, due to bad knees…hobble)  into the bathroom.  I return to the little corner in my room where the nightstand is, and the desk with laptop.  
The “Hellen Keller”  touching everything on both surfaces was not quite working for me anymore,  I ended up pulling out a pair of older glasses out to assist me in my plight of “Hide & Seek.”  After about an hour and a half of searching high & low in the “Bermuda Triangle Bedroom,” I finally had to throw in the towel to get my ass in gear for my appointment. 

Hotel Dupuis Paris Chic Shabby Vintage Yellow Filigris Metal Mantle Table Clock | eBay

At least I can see long distance with the old glasses on, but reading is a real bitch!  Heck, I should consider writing in this larger print for the rest of this entry…  Kidding!!!

So, I see (No pun intended) my psychiatrist, and we summed it up that I need to stop taking certain medications…  “Oh, darn it.  How I’ll miss taking 9 pills at night.”  (Joking).  But, she wants me to have a sleep study done on me for sleep apnea.  “It’s bad enough I have trouble falling asleep at home, but to think I’m going to easily fall asleep in a make-believe bedroom with gadgets stuck to my head seems rather far-fetched to me.”  But, okay.
I was supposed to see my doctor today, but he wasn’t in the office this afternoon.  I begged & pleaded to speak to another doctor about the strange alien that has formed on my right calf & shin.  He was awesome!!!  He provided me with yet another dermatologist to contact.  The only issue now was to see if my insurance would be accepted.  
When I arrived home, I instantly started making phone calls like a mad woman.  Eureka!!!!  The recommended dermatologist accepted my insurance, I then got a hold of a Pulmonary Comprehensive Sleep Center that accepted my insurance too!!!  Last but not least, I contacted my ophthalmologist to schedule an eye exam.  
When my roommate arrived home, I told her about the day’s events and we headed up to the mystical room of hidden glasses.  Thinking that the second set of eyes might help.  NOT!!!  They are gone.   

Guardian Of The Dreams by HelenKei.deviantart.com on @deviantART

I never imagined Mr. Sandman becoming a kleptomaniac, but evidently, he liked my glasses, and “Poof” they are lost forever like the missing sock in the dryer.

Okay, My Friends, this is where I say good night.  As you can imagine, I need to give my eyes a much-needed rest after today.  I hope that you all have a wonderful evening!!!
Take Care & God Bless!
Beckie 

#WorldMentalHealthDay

“Peace From Panic” posted yet another piece that I wanted to share on my site. Pertaining to Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health, and now spreading the word to the workplace.
Awesome read.

Peace from Panic

Speak out. Open the conversation. Raise awareness. End the stigma.

As a mental health advocate, these are phrases I’m passionate about promoting.

The stigma surrounding mental illness remains strong. But it’s beginning to lessen, as more people talk about their challenges with a mental health condition.

Today, October 10, 2017, is the 25th anniversary of World Mental Health Day. The World Federation for Mental Health founded the day in 1992.

The theme for this year is Mental Health in the Workplace.

Our jobs require us to execute-2

When I heard what this year’s theme is, I immediately thought of the interaction between an employee and her employer that went viral earlier this year:

Madalyn:

Hey team, I’m taking today and tomorrow to focus on my mental health. Hopefully I’ll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%.

The response from Ben Congleton, CEO Olark:

Hey Madalyn, I just wanted to personally thank you for sending…

View original post 289 more words

October 10, 2017: “No, I Don’t Have A Note From My Mother For Being Out Sick.”

Grief is exhausting. Remember to recharge

Good Evening My Friends.  Hope all of you are well this Tuesday evening. 
I am not proud of what I’m going to currently admit, but I smacked into a brick wall Sunday afternoon.  I got hit with a migraine from hell, and it took over my entire mind & body.  I was incapacitated from Sunday late afternoon, straight through until this morning.  I missed an entire day due to my head feeling as if it were being squeezed in a vice grip.  I was so thankful only for it being a dreary day outside because I think the sun would have been the death of me.  I regret two things that I missed in that 30 some odd hours missed.
First, not being able to participate in my friend “JT’s” 35th Birthday.  Although his real birthday was on the 2nd of October and was pushed from one day to the next was unavoidable.  My roommate “JK” had to throw it by herself, for which I truly felt guilty over.  I had even sent her a text earlier yesterday afternoon and said I had a doozy of a migraine and was going to have to bow out of the festivities, yet…  When she arrived home with “JT” in tow, she pounded on my bedroom door and released her dog “Pinky” to pounce into my bed.  I, therefore, got out of my bed and proceeded downstairs very loopy in a dense fog.  Went over to “JT” hugged him, apologized that I couldn’t hang with them, but to please enjoy his gifts, turned around and went back upstairs.   I didn’t have the door closed for more than 2 minutes, and “JK” was back at the door asking me “What’s the matter with you?”  (Please Note:  This coming from the same woman that was sick prior, and the said reason for canceling original birthday bash.)  I explained again “Why” I would not be part of it, and proceeded to close the door, and back to sleep, I went. 
Secondly,  I had wanted to write and read more from others.  Although I tried to read, I also tried to reblog a post that I adored.  “You know the saying, friends don’t let other friends drive drunk?  They should actually have ones for”Blogger Dummies” (such as myself)…  Don’t allow a half functioning brain reblog without including their name.”  That is exactly what I had done.  To my surprise this morning, I woke up to over 30+ emails giving this piece high kudos for which it certainly does deserve.

* Brett Little (Individual Expressions of The Naive Mind) wrote:  “Its hard to fall down when someone else’s gravitational pull makes you stand tall” *

I just had to set the record straight because I felt enough guilt over my friends birthday, then to wake up and see that…”OMG!!!!”  I was mortified.   

Therapy humour. Counselling. Psychotherapy.   Psychodynamic.  www.inspiredcounsellingservices.co.uk

On yet another note…  I went to see my therapist today.  (You know something, I have yet to ever lay down on a couch.  With my luck, I’d fall asleep.)  I sat down, and we begin by the small chit chat…Then it’s off to the races.  45 minutes of working out my anxiety issues, and working through personal issues of what’s rolling around inside my head.  We both agreed that I discuss this sleeping issue with my psychiatrist, and afterward see my primary doctor have the blood work done right thereafter.  It could be a vitamin deficiency, a rather simple fix…  Or it could be something entirely different.  “That’s the one that scares me just a little bit.”   I also have to have this infection on my right calf that has been bothering me on/off for a year now.  However, I have tried different creams, ointments etc…Plus I’ve been trying to find a Dermatologist to look at the damn thing, and not one of them will take my insurance. 
Tomorrow is going to be a wonderful day!!!  “Golly Gee!!!  Can’t wait!!!!”  I just want to have these many questioned answered and resolve them already.  Based on how I’ve been functioning, I figured I will write about “Narcolepsy.”  Both Doc’s are gonna love seeing me tomorrow!!!

With one final little note…  This was the poem that was published way back when 2002.  Although, it was written in the early 90’s.  “Not gonna lie here, it’s a bit goofy for even me, but never the less…

The Start of Something Special

Confused and frightened of what was to be left.
A few special moments of precious memories.
Maybe, just maybe it was meant to be.
Should it have ended here?
The love and what I thought was understanding?
The lies and hurt?  Maybe…
A simple goodbye, a tear swept away.
A “Hello” to a friendship in which would last a lifetime.
Goodbye to the sadness, regret, and trouble.
A big “Hello” and “Welcome” to me.
I’ve learned to become me again from my strength within.
Maybe, just maybe I’ll make it without him.

 

Alright, Folks… It is time for me to call my Mom, then eat a bit while I try to catch up on reading other works of real art.  Have a great evening from wherever you may be.
Take Care & God Bless,
Beckie