Hello, Folks! Happy Wednesday to you all! And, for those of you who love camels, Happy 🐫 Day to you! It’s the middle of the week which means it’s time for “Working on Me” – “Hold your applause, please.” LOL! 😁
So, what have I been working on this past week, since my last post? To be completely honest with you, Not a damn thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been working on me, but it wasn’t based on one particular thing.
To be quite frank, I was pretty exhausted after my visit with my therapist last week. The added feature of raining for the last 5 days and never getting out of the ’40s was a real thrill for my mood. Today, on the other hand, it’s so sunny and bright, I feel like a vampire squinting and fearful that my brain will melt.
Here I was looking so forward to Spring, and we’ve had a handful of days that were Spring-like. The majority of the time, it’s done nothing but rain. I may not have a car, but with all the tree limbs coming down, I’m prepared to make and an Ark.
Between my bipolar and (SAD) Seasonal Affective Disorder, I have taken a nap every day since last week. Not a long one that keeps me hidden under the covers, but just enough to recharge my batteries when I felt a lull in my motivation. Other than that, I am pushing myself every second of the day.
I cannot express this enough when I say, “I’m fucking exhausted!”
I’m not going to just whine, stamp my feet, and complain throughout this entry, I promise you. I’m simply stating a fact.
The reasoning behind pushing myself so hard is to avoid falling into the abyss of depression. I am teetering on it, and it scares me to no end. The last time this took place, I fell off the grid for 4 months. Hell, no one here saw me, and I didn’t see you. It was horrible.
My whole system decided to go into hibernation, and even isolate even more than I normally do. And, when I was awake, I played stupid video games on my phone, lying in bed. I get up long enough to perform my best interpretation of a cat. Eat, potty, back to bed.
My self-care routine has been so, so. I’ve showered four times since last Wednesday, brushed my teeth every other day, kept up with eating healthy, maintained keeping my living space clean and organized, and have been coming here to write and read as much as humanly possible so I don’t slip down the rabbit hole.
My insomnia hasn’t acted up in quite a while, so, I’m very happy about that at least. Plus my anxiety has been kept at bay. I haven’t cried, I haven’t exactly been laughing either.
Okay, so yeah, I’ve been pushing myself. But the one thing that has helped me through this whole fighting process is simply by being here. For all of you that post prompts, God Bless you!
A huge round of applause being sent your way from me to you! You have been a huge factor in me fighting and pushing myself from falling off the grid again. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! 🤗
Alright, there you have it. One whole week of trying to keep my head above water by writing. The damn bed beckoning me to lay down, and I’m sitting upright doing my thang! LOL! 😁
Before I close, I leave you with the following questions:
- Do you push yourself even harder when you are experiencing depression?
- Do you find it terribly frustrating to push yourself?
- Do you simply give in, and rest?
- Do you find writing to be cathartic?
Please leave your response in the comments section of this post.
Today, I plan on taking a shower, brushing my teeth, and going out to the supermarket. I also plan on being here on and off throughout the day. Hey, I have prompts to keep me going. Thank goodness!
I hope all of you enjoy your Wednesday and thank you very much for reading.
Take care & God Bless,
Credits: Google Images, Pinterest, and Giphy