~🌼~ Working on Me ~🌼~ (Self-Help) – 02/28/2019 Update!

I just wanted to reach out and thank all of those who gave me such tremendous advice yesterday.  You are all so wonderful!

Recent update:  Had a good heart to heart with my roommate about her depression and the mere fact that the house needs to go through an overhaul.  I am pleased to say… We may just tackle this together once and for all. 

I made sure to reassure her that I truly understand the depression she has been feeling and that I do love her with all my heart.  We are going to kick ass over the next couple of days and clean this house to make it liveable for both of us.

I want her to feel like the weight of the house is not so overwhelming to her anymore, plus help with my anxiety and OCD issues.

Again, to all of my dear blogger buddies, a most sincere Thank You to all of you!!!!

Beckie 😘 

 

Original Entry on 02/27/2019:

Image result for picture of self-help

Greeting’s Everyone!  

I hope the last week of February is moving along nicely for everyone.  I know March can give us a punch with snowstorms and wicked weather, but at least there is a light at the end of this Winter’s long tunnel.

Today, I wanted to start off with an affirmation that I, personally need a great deal of help with lately.

Patience is not about doing nothing. Patience is about constantly doing everything you can, but being patient about results.  #simplereminders #quotes #patience #not #do #nothing #justdoit #everything #you #can #wait #for #results #success

Patience:

I have written about this very topic before, but every so often I need to be reminded of what that truly means to me.  

When I was younger, I had absolutely no patience for anything.  “I want it now!  I want things to happen the way I want them to happen, NOW!”  A sad example of maturity, I realize this now.

Over the course of many years now, I find myself to be a very patient person.  I now have the attitude, “Good things come to those who wait.” which is a healthy way of saying to myself, give it some time and things will improve.

Well, my patience seems to be tested and I’m really not quite sure how to go about dealing with it anymore.  So, with that being said… maybe, you the reader can help me in figuring out a way of handling the current situation I’m in.

Daily Affirmation for August 8, 2014 #affirmation #inspiration - "I speak and listen with patience and love."

First, I just want to share a couple of points before I begin to explain the current situation.  I love my roommate more than my own sister.  We met through our anxiety group held at our mental health facility.  

Back in April of 2017, when I was approved for my disability I needed to move out of the temporary housing program, and this was a no brainer… “Get me out of here now!”  My roommate was also trying to figure out how to keep her place after her brother passed away.  So, it made sense that we both hook up and live together.  I agreed with the amount to be paid each month towards rent, and have never faltered with it.

We get along extremely well, which is a good thing.  But, this is where it gets tricky.  We both obviously have mental health issues.  I have bipolar 2, depression, anxiety, and I’m also OCD.  My roommate has social anxiety and depression.  We joke about how well we get along at times because we claim no one else could live with either one of us.

When I first moved in, she was upfront and honest with me by stating her house was in “Construction Mode.”  This was fine with me.  I enjoy home improvements.  Heck, I’m addicted to home improvement shows on HGTV.  However, since the time I moved in here, nothing has been completed.  in fact things have gotten worse over time.

Symptoms of the Subtypes of OCD and Related Disorders

Again, I can’t emphasize this enough when I say I love my friend, but she does nothing around this house except maybe once a week, lightly clean the surface of a table or two and vacuum once every other week.

Smack dab in the middle of the kitchen is a newer dishwasher to replace the one that doesn’t work.  That’s been there since two October’s ago.  In order to use the oven/stove, I have to keep pushing this dishwasher across the kitchen.  Then, there’s the Microwave issue.  There are two of them as well, and neither one of them works. There is nothing but junk piled on the tiny countertop area in order to prepare anything, plus that is always so dirty… I can’t keep up with the cleaning of the said countertop.

The dining room/living room area is a disaster.  Just plain filthy. 

Yesterday, she brought up that she thinks she needed to change the heaters air filter.  Honestly, I think it’s the first time in the twenty some odd years of her living here that she took the filter out.  She proceeded to show me, and I nearly got sick just looking at it.

I have tried to clean the house, but it’s just too overwhelming for me.  I keep bringing up the following issues, and I always get the answer, “Yeah, I have to get it done.”  Then again, she also say’s, “I don’t mind living in my pig-dom.”   Well, that is all fine an good, but I am paying rent and I can’t enjoy any other part of the house other than my clean bedroom.  (which by the way, has to be cleaned constantly not because of my OCD, but because the air filter just keeps kicking in the dust build up.)  It’s disgusting!

No matter what I have said, nothing seems to work – EVER!  

Don’t get me wrong, she is a wonderful person with the biggest heart I’ve ever met.  She takes me to my appointments and to the stores when I need to get things.  Plus, she is also very kind to all her friends as much as she is with me.  I know people with depression tend not to care about their surroundings, I get it.  Not only do I get it, I most certainly understand it.

It’s not like I expect to live in Better Homes & Gardens by any stretch, but come on… I feel as though I’m bitching up a storm here, but I need to get this off my chest.

Worried you'll forget the 12 Habits of People Who Always Have A Clean Home?  If you want your family to adopt these habits, I've got just the printable you can hang in your home as a gentle reminder!

Okay, my blogging buddies, I know this is a “Self-Help” series of mine, but I could use some advice on what to do and how to go about getting stuff done around here without any hurt feelings.

Again, let me remind you, I have spoken to her about all of the above over the course of months now, hell, who am I kidding… over a year now.  What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I thank you for allowing me to kinda vent here, and your advice would be most welcomed.

Take Care & God Bless,

Beckie 💗

Before I sign off, I’m the furthest thing from perfect… Am I just being bitchy?

 

 

 

 

 

 

24 comments

  1. Yikes! Well, if you can’t find another place. Maybe write out a list of the things you guys can tackle together.

    Make them fun activities. I would say start with the easiest things like cleaning an area of the house and hold each other accountable in getting it done. Sometimes the visual improvement motivates us to do more.

    Remember your well being is just as important ❤

    Sending you many positive vibes and hope that thing improve for the both of you my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the Express the Gabbiness’s suggestion. If you try it and she doesn’t get it, I think you’re just going to have to try a real heart-to-heart talk with her. And no. I don’t think you’re being bitchy. You should feel comfortable if you have to live there. Good luck, Beckie. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel your pain! There is an ongoing war in my house over the kitchen. Older daughter and I wash everything we or Ben uses immediately after using it. Younger daughter & her partner just keep dirtying dishes and never washing them. I’ve tried asking, telling, nagging, even shaming and they are both dug in. They just won’t wash dishes. I am UNABLE to wait it out. I waited a week once but couldn’t even go into the kitchen. We don’t have a dishwasher so you can imagine…
    You’re not being bitchy. The kitchen needs to be cleaned up. It’s unhealthy.
    I’d say offer to pitch in to pay someone to dump the broken appliances and install the new dishwasher but I know finances are tight.
    Maybe a “spring clean” party with some of your mutual friends? Celebrate the end of the horrible winter. Music, a barbeque and everyone helps out. You could make it a group thing and do your friends’ houses too?

    It’s so difficult living with other people and their ways. I can’t imagine a roommate. My daughters have been my “roommates”😃

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Hmmm….I think that since you tried everything already and nothing has improved, you should start looking for another place, but slowly and without saying anything. If you say something about possibly leaving, she might get upset and insist you leave a bit too soon. Reality is, it’s not fully working out but you can remain friends after moving. Even if it takes a year to find the right fit, at least you will be at peace with the cleanliness and space. Sometimes we just need to feel “whole.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Considering the situation could potentially be a health hazard I would approach it from a “We need to do this together for our health and wellbeing” perspective. I would be firm (based on wanting the best for both your friend and yourself) and my hope would be she wouldn’t feel attacked or have any hurt feelings as you are a genuinely concerned friend. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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