Hello, Folks! Happy Hump Day!
Hope this post finds each and every one of you doing well today.
Today, instead of me bitching about the lack of sleep I’m getting again, I would like to focus on the following.
Owning Our Power:
Maybe this subject matter is so important to me is because, in recent days, I have found myself annoyed, irritable, and just plain disrespected. However, that being said, I have found that by owning my power, I hold the cards. My own personal deck of cards.
Okay, I have a point to this, really, I do…
We don’t have to be victimized by life, by people, by situations, by work, by our friends, by our relationships, by our family, by ourselves, our own feelings, our thoughts, and our circumstances.
Please note, I am speaking about recovery. As most of you know I am a recovering alcoholic. I also have learned over the course of 3&1/2 years that my recovery came first and foremost. I also have a mental illness. These two combined are a daily reminder to me. All that I have learned, I have had to implement in my day to day routine.
In layman’s terms, I refuse to cower down to being a victim to all that I noted above. In recovery, admitting and accepting powerlessness is important, but that is only the first step. It’s changing what we can.
I can own my own power, wherever I am, wherever I go, and whoever I am with. I don’t have to submit to whatever comes my way. There are certain things I can do. I can speak my mind. Solve the problem. Utilize the problem to motivate me to do what’s right for me. “Selfish? You’re damn straight.”
Case in point: The lack of sleep. I know when my body and mind can’t take much more of sleeplessness, I am going to crash hard eventually. Crash, meaning, I am going to require hours of sleep in order to function.
My friends and family know that insomnia kicks my buttocks. Hell, everyone knows this. But, for some odd reason one of my friends, just doesn’t quite understand this factoid about me.
Yesterday, was one of those days where the lack of sleep caught up to me, and yes, I needed to crash.
My roommate invited one of our mutual friends over yesterday afternoon. I expressed to her that I wasn’t taking part in the visit because I was exhausted. I was going to go to bed. Before I laid down, I sent my mom a text to let her know, I would call her when I had awakened. Then I turned my phone to vibrate mode as to not be disturbed. By around 5-ish-pm, I dozed off.
It was around 6:30pm I did wake up. The friend that was here to visit, not only called once while I was sleeping but twice in the hour and a half that I slept, from downstairs no less! Thank God, I turned the phone off, or I would have gone down there and slapped him silly.
I called my mother, spoke to her for a short period of time to check up on her and to see how she was feeling. After I hung up with her, I just wanted to go back to sleep. But, that wasn’t in the cards because all I could hear was this friend being loud all the way from downstairs. All of this a ruse to wake me up. “Screw that!” I thought to myself. I’ll be damned if I went downstairs to entertain his ass. He knew damn well I was exhausted because my roommate told him. He just wanted to hang out with both of us.
I stood my ground. I didn’t return his phone call from downstairs, nor did I have intentions of being manipulated into visiting with him.
I simply owned my power. I needed to take care of my own needs. That is the beauty and reward of owning my own power. I chose what was right for me. Instead of allowing him to get inside my head and continue to annoy me, I changed my attitude towards his actions and circumstances. I wasn’t falling victim to the guilt of not visiting. I took matters in my own hands and decided to stay in bed, watch a little Netflix, and then fall back to sleep.
I, We, are only victims if we allow it to be.
The outcome of owning my power was that I finally caught up on much-needed sleep, and felt revitalized to handle the following day. Plus, I didn’t feel the least bit guilty for my actions.
Learning to own my power took some time to come to grasp with, I naturally had to keep practicing this from time to time. It’s a miraculous feeling to overcome feelings of being manipulated by another or the guilt. “Practice, practice, practice!”
Has anyone, or circumstance ever try to sway you from whatever you wanted to do? What did you do to in order to help yourself?
That’s it for today’s “Working on Me” – Self-Help. I sincerely hope that you can take this with you as a way to fulfilling your healthy boundaries.
Take Care & God Bless,