~🌼~ Working on Me ~🌼~ (Self-Help)

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Hello, My Fellow Bloggers & Friends.

It’s been nearly a month since I’ve written for my series “Working on Me” (Self-Help).  July was one hell of a month with coming off of Klonopin without being weaned off properly, One week into it I was instructed to triple up on my dosage for Vistaril, only to receive another phone call three days later… “Oops, didn’t realize I was on Lexapro, stop taking that immediately because of the Vistaril increase.”  It’s a wonder why I was so damn sick.  The damn doctor that is taking over for my psychiatrist while she is on medical leave obviously didn’t read my chart at all until after the fact.

Enough of that, I feel like a broken record repeating it.

As many of you know already … (sorry, another short version of broken record) I haven’t had health insurance since March of this year because Medicaid terminated my benefits due to earning too much from Disability.  Found this out the hard way, when I needed to pick up my medications.  I never received a notice.

 Yesterday, I personally went to Social Services to find this phantom letter of terminating my benefits since I had requested it 3 times and had given them the correct address that I have been residing at for a year and a half.  I sat there waiting to be seen for over 2&1/2 hours, all to be finally told, “Oh, yes Ms. Cutler, we mailed it out as requested to blah, blah, blah.”  the former address.  In turn, I opened up my record book and questioned if the following 3 people in her office actually existed and on the following dates did they work there.  When she replied yes, I told her in the only way I could contain my anger…  “They need to look for new employment because none of these people were able to successfully change an address in your system 3 times over.”  I requested yet again… but, no.  I couldn’t get it then, and there.  I still have to wait for this letter to be mailed AGAIN! 4th times a charm, right?

Make a very, very long story short…  I came home and spent the entire day speaking with insurance agencies.  Funny thing is, is no one can help me.  I’m too young to get Medicare, I would have to wait until 2019 for Subsidy.  NJ Family Care for the Aged, Blind, and Disabled cannot even help me.  However, this wonderful individual from the (ABD Unit) called me and said that if I worked a job such as “Walking a dog”, and could provide a letter stating so with the amount in which I am getting paid, my Medicaid case could be opened up again.  DO YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT?  I have two shot knees, bad back, as well as mental health issues…  They suggest walking a dog?  ‘Oh, my bloody God!’

I also learned that I cannot apply for Medicare until I am disabled for 2 years, which won’t happen until April of 2019.

Yesterday, after speaking to 46 health insurance representatives that promised me they could work with my budget, all failed at their so-called promises.  In fact, since I started writing this post, I have spoken to 7 more people that claimed the same exact thing.  ‘Failed!’

I said a few months back that if I had to sell my car, and cut my auto insurance out of the equation to afford health insuranceI would.  But, I am not doing so just yet.

I plan on visiting Social Security to discuss all of this with someone that might have an inkling of a clue as to what to do in my situation.  It certainly is not happening today.  I need a day to recoup from the hell I went through yesterday.

In all seriousness, I need to calm myself down and control the anger that has taken over me.  My self-help plan for today is just that.  Practice self-care, shower and meditate.  Read, and post positive quotes, not only for my readers but to help me in the process of calming myself down and regaining perspective on this whole mess.

I’m aware that this post is more of a rant than a real self-help entry, but I needed to get this all out of me.  My plan on visiting Social Security will take place on Monday, August 6th.  I want to get a hold of all my doctors for all my medical records leading up to March 2017.  On August 7th, I have to see the quack at the mental health facility, followed by my therapist.  I’m definitely looking forward to speaking to my therapist, God knows I need her.  As far as the doctor, I know I will share with her my disgust in how she handled or lack thereof handled my withdrawals from Klonopin.  

Sorry again for ranting and venting like a mad woman, but my nerves are truly overwhelmed, and I am truly scared of not having health insurance.

Okay, I’m done freaking out here at least.  LOL!

Take Care & God Bless,


PS…  Sorry, I did, in fact, say, I would make this long story short.  I failed at that.








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