~🌼~ Working on Me ~🌼~ (Self-Help) ~ Part 1~

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Hello, All!  Hope everyone is doing good on this Wednesday, “Hump Day!” Yay! Half the week is almost over.  

Today is the first day since March, that I get to see my therapist and I am truly looking forward to it.  In the 45 minute to an hour session, I need to play catch up with all that has gone on since March.  For the most part, that will cover my frustration of not having medical insurance.  (Which, might be acquired next month).  However, I have to learn how to deal with “Frustration & Anger” period.

I’m sure you know what I mean when I say…  “Little things add up until you explode.”  Right?  Yesterday, was the prime example of an explosion on my part.  The day was fine, other than the mere fact that I slept in and felt as if I missed half the day, but none the less, it was just a normal day.  That was until I got the mail.

Let me backtrack a moment.  Last year when I visited my Mother in Florida for the first time since she moved down there, I surprised her with a new laptop.  Her old one just died completely a couple of years before she moved down.  I told her I would take care of paying her internet bill because I knew darn well she couldn’t.  She is on a fixed income as well.  It never bothered me to pay this charge of $31.76 a month, because I knew that my mother really enjoyed it dearly.  She is stuck at home a majority of the time, and if this brings her a bit of happiness, I go with it.

Back to the mail, I received yesterday.  I noticed at the beginning of the month, due to auto paying this internet bill, that the amount changed.  The actual invoices were being mailed to my mother, and I had her forward them up to me.  I reviewed the last two statements and there is nothing, and I mean nothing to indicate why there was an increase.  So, with this, I contact Xfinity-Comcast to inquire as to why the billing has gone up.  All to find out that the promotion expired.  “What promotion?”  I was never told anything about a promotion, in the beginning, Hell, even the paperwork I saved from signing on to this service never had anything written on it about a promotion.

I tried my hardest to remain calm when speaking to this customer service representative, but my blood was boiling by the time she said “Oh, yes, Ms. Cutler, your new billing will be $61.72 next month, but if you pay for the modem ($11.00) outright, you save money per month.”  Do the math…  I would still be paying more regardless if I paid for the damn modem.  The billing would still be $50 a month.  What a fucking (excuse me) scam!  It’s only for the internet!

I too am on a fixed income, no health insurance, and can barely make it to the end of the month on my SSDI payment a month.  I blew a gasket yesterday.  I’m surprised the entire East coast didn’t hear me yell.  Knowing fully well, that the  Xfinity/Comcast service provider has their customers by the balls, they can get away with this because they are the only provider down there.  I was livid.

By the time that conversation was done and over with and I provided them with a “Wordy” survey at the end of the phone call.  I had to take my anger out on something, anything.  

My roommate had gone out earlier and said she would be home at a reasonable hour to help take out the garbage and recyclables to the curb.  It was already 7pm, and I was in no mood to keep waiting.  I cleaned out the refrigerator, gathered up the rest of the garbage, completely forgot that she had cleaned out the kitty litter box, so that was also in the can.  This damn thing weighed so much, and I’m out there in the heat dragging this shit to the curb, both cans.  If my back and knees didn’t hurt before…  They sure as hell hurt a great deal more now.

Now, I ask you…  “Can you sense the frustration and anger just by reading this?”  I seriously need to work on the above before I cause myself any further damage to myself physically, not to mention emotionally.  When it came right down to it, it was a matter of all the little things (even things I haven’t even mentioned) that built up, that made me explode. 

Here it is the following day, and I’m still fuming over this.  All of it.  Again, today, I get to see my therapist, oh, my God is she gonna love seeing me today.  

I will continue with this post later (Part 2), after my appointment.  I also need to read my book, “The Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie, with hopes of putting things into perspective and try to calm myself down.  It takes a lot to push me over the edge, and the built-up anger really irked my nerves.

Until later…  I hope you all are having a better day than me.  LOL!  (By the way, I know there are so many people far worse than I am and I do apologize for going off the rails on this post).

Take Care & God Bless,



  1. So frustrating! I hate when companies just raise rates for no good reason; it’s just greed and it’s ridiculous. I can definitely sense your anger and I understand it, but I love that you took out your anger through cleaning! I do that too. Hope you have a good session today, get that anger out!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s better to let things out, then to leave them inside. Did you ever think you might be making other people feel better after they read your blog? 💐 YOU have a great day!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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