(New Segment) ~🌼~ Working on Me ~🌼~ Daily Meditations on Codependency

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Hello, My Dear Readers…  How are you today?  I hope this post finds you all well.

I’ve been debating on whether or not to share something I just recently started doing for myself with you based on its personal nature.  But then I thought about it some more and figured, “What the hell, you share just about everything else with your readers here. Duh?”  

As so many of you already know, I am a recovering alcoholic and have mental disorders such as Bipolar 2, Depression, Anxiety, OCD, and PTSD.  (I feel like a broken record), but there is a point to this.  Have you ever heard of the expression “Dry Drunk?”  Well, it means it is a person who has stopped drinking (or drugging) but has not made the phycological and emotional changes necessary to achieve a complete recovery.

No worries, I haven’t picked up and started drinking, nor do I have the urge to drink again, but it’s my thought processing that snuck back under the radar of my mind, and that has literally scared the shit out of me.  I don’t attend AA Groups because I found them to be very “Clicky” and not supportive of my mental health conditions, it was as if I was looked down upon when I first admitted this back in September 2015.  So, I decided to just stick with going to my mental health facility for further assistance.

Last weekend was a low point as far as my thought processing was concerned, and I was sincerely loathing myself for going backward in the way I thought about things.  Anger, resentment, feeling sorry for myself, etc…  Something surely had to give.  I ended up picking up a book my therapist gave to me months ago called “The Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie, a Daily Meditation on Codependency.  That book and Dr. Wayne W. Dyer’s book “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” – Living the Wisdom of the Tao. 

Again, I gave this some thought about sharing this process with you fine people because if someone else is suffering inside their own mind with intrusive thoughts and feeling, that maybe this could help them as well.  So, here is what I read over the weekend, and yet again today…

Healing Thoughts:

Think healing thoughts.  When you feel anger or resentment, ask God to help you feel it, and then release it.  Ask him to bless those who you feel anger toward.  Ask him to bless you.  When you feel fear, ask him to take it away from you.  When you feel misery, force gratitude.  When you feel deprived, know that you are enough.  When you feel ashamed, reassure yourself that who you are is okay.  You are good enough.  When you doubt your timing or your present position in life, assure yourself that all is well; you are right where you’re meant to be.  Reassure yourself that others are too.

When you ponder the future, tell yourself that it will be good.  When you look back at the past, relinquish regrets.  When you notice problems, affirm there will be a timely solution and a gift from the problem.  When you resist feelings or thoughts, practice acceptance.  When you feel discomfort, know that it will pass.  When you identify a want or a need, tell yourself it will be met.

When you worry about those you love, ask God to protect and care for them.  When you worry about yourself, ask him to do the same.  When you think of others, think love.  When you think about yourself, think love.  

Then… watch your thoughts transform reality.

Today, I will be thinking healing thoughts.  I will re-read this over until I let go of my resentments, my fears, and pray that God answers me in his timing.  

Each week, I’ll be sharing with you something I am practicing in order to change my thoughts and feelings towards how I have been viewing life.  Don’t worry, it won’t be as long as this entry, I promise.  I do have hopes that if you find this helpful too if you are feeling anything remotely like I have, that this serves you as it does me.  We can all use a little help from our friends, right?

Thank you for taking the time in reading this.

Take Care & God Bless,

Beckie

10 comments

  1. I don’t feel like you are a dry drunk. You at least catch yourself when thinking negatively and do your best to turn things around. I look forward to your learning and sharing with me. Thank you for all you share. It helps me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I read this crying .. thinking nah I’m not alone…someone else understands. Ima, going to look for that book .because I have to find something to help me, get through this . I can feel how drastic this episode is and I’m scared

    Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you ! I am trying to just keep myself calm and turn my anxiety off , It finally sent me into a deep panic attacking and I ended up in th eambulance at the ER , home the same day and now I’m just trying to focus on the psoitveand ignore the bad until I get through this phase

        Liked by 1 person

      • I can assure you, I have had really awful anxiety over the last couple of months. The one thing I find is that if I keep myself busy or focused on something… such as a movie, reading, and blogging, the anxiety was kept at bay.
        Are you on medication for your anxiety issues?

        Like

      • I don’t take an6 medicine for my anxiety, I do take 50 mg of Benadryl when I realize I’m having a tough time. I am the type to avoid the medication and doctors for whatever reason . No real reason I supposed except i become in a way agoraphobic and prefer to be home , and usually in one small area of the house . I tried medication once and it helped but then things got very. Bad for me, and I tried suicide with my Xanax, and some narcotic meds ( hospital for weeks ICU for one of those ) and my father was an alcoholic . So I am worried about addiction and abusing any meds . I have been trying to learn meditation and some other natural ways

        Liked by 1 person

      • Do you have a mental health facility in your county? I truly believe Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) would help and guide you through the addiction process, and an FT therapist & psychiatrist could work with you with non-addictive medication.
        I went through it. All my medication is non-addictive, and I much better for it now.
        Trust me, I rarely leave my bedroom, my “Zen Zone” because I feel safe there. However, I do get out there in order to improve my stability. I also understand that your father is an alcoholic. I come from two sides of the coin when it comes to alcohol addiction in my family tree.
        You can overcome so much if you do all of this for yourself. I have faith in you. 💗🙏

        Like

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