~*~Chewing & Spewing~*~[Boundaries 3]

Good afternoon All!  How are you on this fine Hump Day?  Things are pretty much the same on the home front.  They would probably be different if I could finally speak my mind and get all my thoughts out verbally instead of writing them.  However, Sleeping Beauty is not on the same clock as the rest of the world.  By the time she get’s up, I’m already laying down to go to bed to watch some Netflix and witty chatter from the “Gilmore Girls.”  At that moment, I don’t feel like discussing anything deep.

Finding the balance between overly rigid (apathy/loves too little)-and overly flexible  (pushover/loves too much)

Have any of you ever heard of “FOG?”  No, not that misty crap that seems to be lingering over the state of New Jersey for days on end, nor that horrible movie “The Fog” by John Carpenter, with good actors acting poorly back in 1980.

FOG = Steering clear of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt.  Meaning you have rights too.  Do not do things based on someone else’s expectations.  You are allowed to set limits in order to protect yourself.  You should not put yourself in a situation where you abuse continues.  (In my case, it’s not abuse,  by any stretch of the imagination, it’s enabling on my part and the person that expects this to continue taking advantage of me).  The responses to said boundaries should be an understood contract between family members and/or friendships.  

Chaos breeds where boundaries are absent.

If you feel disrespected then it’s not good to have the other person convince you otherwise.  You do have the right to feel the way you do.  Your feelings are validated.  If you ignore your feelings you will end up regretting some action that you may take, because of all the build up.  That is what I’m facing now.  I know I don’t want to have it build up to the point where I explode because that is not fair to either one of us.

People do need to be held responsible for their own behaviors.  So, do not back down and do not believe them when they try to make you feel guilty for enforcing a consequence.  If you set a limit and the person breaks it, they are making a choice.  Choices lead to consequences.  For example, if you own your home, you get to decide on those choices, that is your right.  (Well, my roommate owns this home I share with her), but does that make me responsible for taking care of her pets, cleaning, garbage detail, and anything else that comes along, plus pay rent?  No.  That was not what I signed up for.  So, do I have rights even though I don’t own the house?  (I’d love to hear from you, my readers what you say to this one?)

In the meantime, I’m going to close for now.  I would greatly appreciate your advice on this matter.  Not only will it help and guide me, but you could be helping another with the same or similar situation.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.  Hey, at least we are half-way through the week.  Yay!

Take Care & God Bless,

Beckie  💗

8 comments

  1. Your roommate seems to forget how you tended to HER, when she came home from her long stay in the hospital, and you waited on her hand and foot. There was a reason then – she was weak, had her pic removed, was unsteady on her feet and newly home after such a long time. But no excuses now – you have carried the ball long enough.

    Liked by 2 people

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