🥂 🍷 Rock Bottom 🍹 🍾

Image result for Pictures of drowning in a bottle

 

Sparkling Reisling

a dry Chardonnay

pick your poison

on any given day.

Started off as a dinner treat,

then slid it’s way to just past noon;

a fancy goblet to a tumbler

all too quick and rather soon.

Delicate fancy bottles from all over the world

turned into boxes with a spout,

a down whirl spiral without a doubt.

Now, it’s 6 am, I stumble to pour another…

Stop the anxiety and trembling from setting in.

Tears are streaming down my face,

I’m full of disgust and disgrace.

In the dining room, I am seated

looking down the hall at my bed,

gulp another tumbler of poison

feeling nothing but depleted.

Barely making it to the bed,

I trip and nearly hit my head.

I crawl under the covers pleading,

wishing, and praying to be dead.

 

 

 

August 14, 2015, is my sober date.  I don’t miss the days of neverending fear, embarrassment, disgust, and rage I had.  It nearly took my life because that’s what I had wanted when I did drink.  I also had no idea at the time that I suffered from mental illness, so self-medicating is all I was doing to numb the pain of depression, anxiety, grief, and then suicidal ideation.

I don’t miss those days at all.

Beckie

[Picture courtesy of Google Images]

via Daily Prompt: Deplete

7 comments

  1. I don’t know if you are writing about yourself, but just felt like saying this anyway.. Someone close to me is today a proud AA member-25 years sober! I know how much it takes to get to where you are. Great job! And very beautifully expressed!

    Liked by 1 person

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