~*~ April 3, 2018: Just Another Day in My Head ~*~

via Daily Prompt: Explore

 

Foto com animação

 

Good Morning, my Dear Friends…

It’s been a while since I’ve just written (Journalling, that is).  I’ve laid low, because of my set back with depression, anxiety, and now my insomnia is kicking my ass from here to kingdom come.  

Nothing is resolved with my medical insurance and my mother and I have spoken so much over the last few weeks over the prospect of me moving to Florida to help her.  Funny thing is, I’m actually excited and nervous as all sin when we talk about it.  I believe the hardest part of that move would be is if my parrot “Peanut” can come with me.  

With all the thoughts racing through my teensy mind, I wish I could find the answers to all of the above, and not have to constantly ponder them all at once.  I’m good at multi-tasking, but planning on visiting my Mom come the beginning of July, planning on medical insurance, thinking of moving and the exploration of a new state entirely, and just the fear of the unknown is keeping me up all hours of the night.  Last night, was utterly exhausting.  The last time I saw the clock it was 5:30 ish am.  My eyes shot open in a panic at 8 am.  I know I’m going to experience a crash very soon if this keeps up.

I’ve been relying on prayer a lot these days and trying to remain as calm as “My Calm” can get, it’s difficult at times, but it is comforting me.  I just wish my concentration and focus on one detail at a time was a simple fix, but it’s not.  I can tell I’m just rambling as I’m writing this because I am so overly tired.

I’ve been beating myself up lately, for not being able to even write creatively.  So, in its place as of recent, I am trying to work on the afghan that I’ve been crocheting on and off since January.  Heck, we got 5-7 inches of snow yesterday on the 2nd. of April for crying out loud.  Where the hell is Spring when you desperately need it?  Today, it’s pouring cats and dogs.  “April Showers bring May flowers”, screw that shit… I need sunlight for more than an hour or two. 

Okay, enough ramblings of a crazed woman…  I’m going to close for now instead of whining any further.  Thank you, for reading and your patience with me during these rough days.  🙂

Take Care & God Bless,

Beckie

 

 

 

[Cartoon courtesy of Pinterest]

 

 

 

 

 

28 comments

  1. Sweet Beckie, I am worried about you girl. There is a sleeping pill, non addicting, that I have been taking for a year now. Trazadone is very inexpensive, and I know you are having insurance issues. Sleep deprivation is very dangerous and unhealthy. Have you tried melatonin? How about a lavender Epsom salt bath before bed? The other thing I can recommend is sleepy time tea-it works, I am so worried about you. Prayers, love. Prayers~

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m on 300 mg of Trazadone, and it doesn’t do a thing for me anymore. I’m picking up more Melatonin today, and it’s funny you mentioned the lavender Epsom salts, I just got that two days ago. LOL!
      Thank you, so very much for all your suggestions, concerns and prayers. That is what I’m doing a lot of these days. 🙂 God Bless you. xxxooo 🙂

      Like

  2. Hope you work things out Becky – the warmer weather might be good for your orthopedic issues as to your knees and back and easier on you in the end. Is your mom allergic to feathers and that is your concern with Peanut?

    Liked by 1 person

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