Good Morning, my Dear Friends…
It’s been a while since I’ve just written (Journalling, that is). I’ve laid low, because of my set back with depression, anxiety, and now my insomnia is kicking my ass from here to kingdom come.
Nothing is resolved with my medical insurance and my mother and I have spoken so much over the last few weeks over the prospect of me moving to Florida to help her. Funny thing is, I’m actually excited and nervous as all sin when we talk about it. I believe the hardest part of that move would be is if my parrot “Peanut” can come with me.
With all the thoughts racing through my teensy mind, I wish I could find the answers to all of the above, and not have to constantly ponder them all at once. I’m good at multi-tasking, but planning on visiting my Mom come the beginning of July, planning on medical insurance, thinking of moving and the exploration of a new state entirely, and just the fear of the unknown is keeping me up all hours of the night. Last night, was utterly exhausting. The last time I saw the clock it was 5:30 ish am. My eyes shot open in a panic at 8 am. I know I’m going to experience a crash very soon if this keeps up.
I’ve been relying on prayer a lot these days and trying to remain as calm as “My Calm” can get, it’s difficult at times, but it is comforting me. I just wish my concentration and focus on one detail at a time was a simple fix, but it’s not. I can tell I’m just rambling as I’m writing this because I am so overly tired.
I’ve been beating myself up lately, for not being able to even write creatively. So, in its place as of recent, I am trying to work on the afghan that I’ve been crocheting on and off since January. Heck, we got 5-7 inches of snow yesterday on the 2nd. of April for crying out loud. Where the hell is Spring when you desperately need it? Today, it’s pouring cats and dogs. “April Showers bring May flowers”, screw that shit… I need sunlight for more than an hour or two.
Okay, enough ramblings of a crazed woman… I’m going to close for now instead of whining any further. Thank you, for reading and your patience with me during these rough days. 🙂
Take Care & God Bless,
Beckie
[Cartoon courtesy of Pinterest]
Sweet Beckie, I am worried about you girl. There is a sleeping pill, non addicting, that I have been taking for a year now. Trazadone is very inexpensive, and I know you are having insurance issues. Sleep deprivation is very dangerous and unhealthy. Have you tried melatonin? How about a lavender Epsom salt bath before bed? The other thing I can recommend is sleepy time tea-it works, I am so worried about you. Prayers, love. Prayers~
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I’m on 300 mg of Trazadone, and it doesn’t do a thing for me anymore. I’m picking up more Melatonin today, and it’s funny you mentioned the lavender Epsom salts, I just got that two days ago. LOL!
Thank you, so very much for all your suggestions, concerns and prayers. That is what I’m doing a lot of these days. 🙂 God Bless you. xxxooo 🙂
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Wow! Florida…plenty of sunshine there! Warm too! Good luck to you, my friend
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OMG! I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. How are you, Dear? Missed you!
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I’m trudging along. In a better place
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I’m so happy to hear that. Really have missed you. Are you back?
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I am. Posted this morning on TPIB and yesterday in my own blog
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I haven’t written on the TPIB since all the crap hit the fan with me. I’m lucky I can write a sentence these days. LOL! I’ll have to go over to your site and check out what you have posted. So, so happy you are back! 🙂
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I’m taking my time reading past posts. I probably won’t be posting everyday for awhile
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Take the time you need, again… just so happy to see your little face pop up. 🙂
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😊
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Sorry the world went to crap on you
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Eh, Just trying to cope. This too shall pass… It just better pass sooner than later. 😦
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Yes it shall
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Hope you work things out Becky – the warmer weather might be good for your orthopedic issues as to your knees and back and easier on you in the end. Is your mom allergic to feathers and that is your concern with Peanut?
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No, it’s just because they don’t allow pets, even though she has a therapy animal, but that’s what Peanut is too.
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But your mom has a therapy animal and is allowed to keep it, so you should not have a problem. It is not like Peanut is loud and will bark – what’s a few parrot squawks anyway. My friend Ann Marie’s African Grey watched a pirate movie and by he end of the movie he was singing “sixteen men on a dead’s man’s ship, ho-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!”
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It’s not allowed in her condo, period. They made an exception to her cat, Peanut can be loud. It would never work. That’s why my sister is now looking for a place tht accepts both.
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I see – Peanut is that loud? Squawking or talking?
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Only when he gets excited, or scared over something. He can be quite loud when he’s laughing too.
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He must be a joy – I miss my little Buddy so much when I hear you mentioning Peanut’s antics. You’ll find a solution and keep your baby too.
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Fro your lips to God’s ears.
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I have many days when I have to rant. If no one wants to read it, that’s okay, still feels good to let off some steam. I’m desparately waiting for some sunshine too!
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The longest Winter ever, right?
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Whine all you want! It helps you relieve some stress. Keep Smiling! 😊😍😮😚😎
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Thank you, Dear. You’re sweet. 🙂
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I hope you can get some restful sleep and sunshine soon! Yes, its April and we are having an ice storm here!
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I know, Mother Nature is laying a cruel joke on us all. 😦
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