~*~ March 21, 2018: Mind Blowing ~*~

"Growth is uncomfortable  Because you have never been here before You've never been this version of you. So give yourself a little grace And breathe through it...." -Kristin Lohr  Art by Aykut Aydogdu


Good Afternoon, My Friends…  How are you on this Hump Day?  Hey, at least we are half way to the upcoming weekend, right?  🤗

Currently, the weather is fitting my mood.  Shocker, it’s snowing here again.  Recap, I found out two days ago that my Medicaid expired without any notice at all.  Nice, huh?  NOT!  This has held up all future appointments with specialist and doctors, as well as holding up obtaining my medication.  Yesterday morning, I contacted the contact that I had with Social Services to see if she knew what was going on but learned it was out of her control.  It was out of her control because since my disability exceeds a certain amount, I would have to apply through the State of New Jersey for Medicaid, and not through the County.

So, this morning I was on the phone like white on rice to find out what the hell to do next.  But… Because of the state of emergency, they have due to the snow storm, the offices are closed.  I was fuming with anger all before coffee this morning, and by the way, that is not a good place for me to be visiting.  Thank goodness Bipolar Barb read yesterday’s entry, she said I should be able to file for Medicare, and that I shouldn’t have a problem with obtaining health coverage through them.  “Thank you, Barb for calming the beast inside of me down this morning.”  😘 

What pisses me off the most is how dare the County of Somerset, New Jersey does not notify recipients of Medicaid after a year of me collecting disability.  Nothing, not one letter at all.  They just drop you like a bad habit.  I’m literally mind blown how they treat people.  Lord forbid I had a surgery of some sorts scheduled within days of finding this information.  I am livid!  😡 😠 🤬 This is certainly not helping my mental stability at this moment.  I was already anxious, and now my anxiety is tweaked so badly, my sleep is all over the charts all over again.   🕐 🕑 🕒 🕓 🕔 

My question to other bloggers and y followers is this…  Has this ever happened to you?  Has the system let you down in a way that was detrimental to your well being?  If so, what did you do?  ❓

I can understand if they caught someone that was abusing the system, and cheating the state out of money, but I have done nothing but do the right thing, and be completely honest with these people since the day I found myself homeless.  Thank goodness, I am not in that predicament anymore, because I was approved for my disability and was able to move out of the transitional housing program.  

Like I had said yesterday, “I have to practice patience and hand this over to God by way of praying”, which is what I have done.  

I actually fast forwarded to tomorrows prayer out of “The Language of Letting Go” – Daily Meditation on Codependency” by Melody Beattie.

“God, help me let go of my need to be a victim.  Help me let go of my belief that to be loved and get attention I need to be a victim.  Surround me with people who love me when I own my power.  Help me start having good days and enjoying them.”  🙏  Amen.

Tomorrow, the second my eyes open, which should be at 3am like today… I will be on the phone and try to keep my composure when requesting help and information to resolve this issue.  (8:30am)…  I doubt anyone would be in their office at 3 am.  LOL!  🙂

Thank you for allowing me to ask questions, as well as ramble on about my new dilemma that I face at the current moment.  I would greatly appreciate your advice or share your story with me.

Take Care & God Bless,

Beckie  💗



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