March 15, 2018: High Anxiety, Therapy and Gratitude

 

i love this

 

Hello, and Good Afternoon to all of you on this Friday Eve.  🙂  I first want to Thank my Mother and you fine fellow bloggers for all the suggestions and kindness that you have shared with me over recent days pertaining to my anxiety.  I truly appreciate it like no other.

Last evening was far from a tranquil evening at home.  My nerves and the sensations I was experiencing were by far all intrusive, and scary as hell.  It took two phone calls with my mom to calm me down, chased with a Klonopin to really coak me off the ledge. I was in the midst of a full-blown panic attack.   The trembling and surge of pain throughout my left side left me so sore this morning, that I could barely type my Daily Post Prompt “Provoke”, which by the way, seemed suitable for the last few days.  Heck, I’m still feeling a surge of unwanted tension all throughout my body and head today.  

Today, thank goodness, I had my appointment with my Therapist.  Have I ever mentioned how much I respect and like her?  Well, I truly, truly do.  

It’s pretty bad though, when the moment you see your therapist, you have to well up with tears in your eyes, but that was a far as it got.  I explained to her about my meds being adjusted, and the adverse effect that it had taken on me.  I also explained how this anxiety has been affecting my sleep too.  In 45 minutes, I put it all on the table and asked why was it that I felt broken for not being able to cry, and this is after watching movies that would make a man fall to his knees.  She replied, that my mind is protecting me and that when my body is ready to break free and cry it will just happen normally, and not forced.  

Before my appointment was finished, I had asked her about a book she loaned me when I was flying down to Florida to visit my Mom.  Naturally, I couldn’t remember the name of it since that was back in July of 2017.  She looked around the room as I described it to her…  A book that helped me with my anxiety prior to the trip, and while I was on the plane.  “The Language of Letting Go”  – Daily Meditations on Codependency by Melody Beattie.  Then it hit her. She opened up her file cabinet drawer and handed it to me.  I thank her for the loaner, and she said that I could keep it.  I was so taken aback, that that almost made me cry.  LOL!

So, I am going to wrap this up and try to lay down to unwind from being so wound tightly since yesterday.  If you get the opportunity, please look up the following book I shared with you.  It did a lot of good for me when she had loaned it to me, and I look forward to reading it daily, and will most likely be adding it to my blogging format.

Thank you again, my friends, for being so supportive and helpful.  I greatly appreciate each one of you dearly.

Take Care & God Bless,

Beckie

 

 

10 comments

  1. I get panic attacks too. God it’s scary.
    Here’s wishing you calmer days. You are in my thoughts and prayers and you always will be, my sweet sis! ❤️
    I am not sure what flowers you like. Hell i don’t even know if you like flowers. But I’m willing to take a chance. So here for you lovely wild roses 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

    Oh they are not wild. ❤️❤️

    Liked by 2 people

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