August 17, 2017: Short & Sweet This Evening – Question #8

Funny Pictures Of The Day 37 Pics

Hello, Folks… Happy Friday Eve!!!  I wanted to keep this rather lighthearted this evening because it is already 10:30 pm, and I got up this morning at 4:45 am, and after I fell asleep around 1:30-2 am this morning…  I just happened upon this caption today and cracked up laughing so hard, because quite frankly, this is how I felt all day today.  LOL!!!

As soon as I did awake before the roosters “cock-a-doodling” I found myself back here attempting to post a “Coming Out” by a good friend of mine, as well as fellow Mental Health Facility attendee,   Brook Sica.  I ran into all sorts of technical difficulties at this ungodly hour and ended up downloading the crap out of it, but couldn’t manage to be able to post to my blog site.  As a reminder to who reads this…  “I am the furthest thing from tech savvy.”  But, trying to do the following post all before caffeine was consumed by the gallon, I was dumber than dirt.  Well, thanks to my friend JT, he saved the day as usual by posting it correctly by 7- ish this evening.  LOL!!!
By around 7:30 am, I was back to Facebook & Pinterest posting away all things “Positive.”  I can honestly state, even as the morning was moving forward, I really wanted to slip under the covers.  However, it wouldn’t have made much sense, because I would have had to get up within two hours to get ready for our group “Peace & Progress” aka “Anxiety Group.”  So, I just drooled over my computer waiting to go downstairs to retrieve coffee for myself but held off because I didn’t want to wake my roommate by tiptoeing my way down the creaky steps.  “For some reason, I am always fearful of waking up my roommate – the same person who would sleep if an atomic bomb was to blow up outside her bedroom window.”  I just tried all efforts in staying awake until she awoke, by posting away on Facebook & Pinterest.  “I seriously have issues with this…  I believe I have become a Facebook/Pinterest addict, and the last time I checked, that does not fall under the category of a mental illness.  Maybe, I should research that too?” or  ” Do they have organizations such as Alcoholics Anonymous for people that post positivity and good vibes?  Hello, my name is Beckie, and I ‘m a monumental poster, by chance, do you have 12 steps to walk me through?  Do I require a sponsor?”  LOL!!!

“Can you tell that I’m a bit punchy this evening?”  Nah…

Alright, So…After I took my shower and proceeded to resemble a “Normal” human being, I strolled my way downstairs to be delighted that my roommate had my abnormally large coffee cup filled with what I considered a gift from the Gods, aka “Mothers Milk.”  Look, when you are that numb posting a great portion of the morning away to keep yourself awake… I’m allowed to call that beautiful brew anything I want to.  LOL!!!
Load up the car moments later, pick up our friend JT along the way, and off to group we go.  “Eh, I could get into that, but screw it.  Nothing really new to report about from today’s session.”  Maybe, I nodded off, who knows.
Then, it was off to the DMV to change the address on my license, register the car, and process the title.  “This only took 2 & 1/2 hours.”  By the time my roommate, JT and I were done… There was no point to speak to me anymore.  I couldn’t comprehend anything they were saying and could feel myself crashing quickly.  T.”hey ganged up on me by picking on me for being, well…being in a state of unconsciousness, to state the very least.
“Yippy!!!” We head on home. 
 YES THIS IS SO ME!!! I pity myself for about fifteen minutes before getting ready for school

Question #8

What would be my idyllic morning be like?  LOL!!!  
To be honest, due to the current frame of mind that I’m in…Sleep until at least 10 am, have my enormous cup of java, and chill out at least until my therapist appointment.
Good Night My Freinds.  I truly hope all of us get a great nights rest and celebrate Happy T.G.I.F. tomorrow.  Take care & God Bless.

August 17, 2017: Sharing a Friends Post Regarding Her Challenge With Mental Illness. “Way to go Brook!!” (Passing her story to you true her feed).

(  Due to the fact that I am the farthest thing from being tech savvy, I still wanted to share the following site for you to read her journey through mental illness.  Brook, I so applaud you for your courage in sharing this story.

Brook & I met back in September 2015, when attending the same mental health facility.  Since then, I have seen Brook’s progress and growth over the last two years.  I for one am very proud of her.

Thank You & Take Care.  Beckie


My “coming out” post about my mental illness

I am writing this with much reluctance since I’ve only hinted at my life with mental illnesses in shared posts and quotes etc. Until right now I’ve never “come out” and declared my battle throughout my life fighting mental illnesses. I’m sorry to those of you I may embarrass by sharing my story but it’s time…. It time for me to share my story, it’s time to let the world know, it’s time for me to fight the stigma I so hate but have felt my entire life.

As I’m sure many have deduced I fight with anxiety, but not just any anxiety. Crippling life stopping anxiety. I am diagnosed using the DSM-V as bipolar type 2, agoraphobic, and OCD (NO THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I LIKE THINGS NEAT FFS). My secondary diagnoses are social anxiety (yes even people who seem extroverted can have social anxiety) and a few others.

I was first in therapy at 11 years old and I was hospitalized in 1993 at the age of 13 for the first time. So yea this has been life long battle and years of different diagnoses, different programs, hospitals, shirks, therapists, medications, self medicating and on and on. I won’t bore you all with my life story but I will tell you my most recent experience (If anyone is so inclined I will happily share the whole story).

My most recent attempt at mental wellness started in 2014ish it was 2 years after my grandma died and those 2 years were my most sickest in my life. I was in a dark place, I wouldn’t leave the house and barely the bed, I let people take advantage of me and sadly in turn take advantage of my mother. I was legit crazy nuts, I’m talking down the rabbit hole with no light at the bottom. I was one of the people you see in movies all paranoid and such. You know the ones I’m talking about, the people you feel for but don’t think you know anyone that severe. Well guess what you do, at least one (if not more closet cases), you know me. I AM A ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE YOU KINDA FEEL FOR BUT MAKE UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN YOU SEE THEM IN ENTERTAINMENT OR IN YOUR DAILY LIFE. I just hide it by isolating and acting all extroverted and funny when I’m around people. But when I’m sick inside I’m dying, all I want to do is go home and my mind races with a million thoughts, one being “I want to go home” over and over” I’m more than happy to elaborate on how my mind works if you are interested. But for now I’ll stick to my work these last 3.5 years.

I was put into a “partial care program” also known as partial hospitalization by my family’s insistence. I was so sick I couldn’t even make the the phone call, my sister called for me, my mom took me to the intake and I started the program immediately due to my severe state at the time.

The program is intensive group therapy 6 hours a day 1-5 days a week depending on the client (yes we are called clients or consumers NOT patients, personally I think it’s silly but if makes other people feel better then why not, I’m fine with patient myself). There are 5-6 groups a day each a different “topic” for example meditation, relapse prevention, humor therapy, WRAP (wellness recovery action plan) and so on. There are also groups called units which is where you work in the kitchen, thrift store, clerical and newsletter. I tended to not do well in the units so stuck mainly to groups. I did this for 3 years and was released into just individual therapy in January but my therapist thinks I need to go back 1-2 days for more structure…

Let me say that instead of looking at this as a bad thing I have come so far in my recovery that I can see why and accept it. In the last 3.5 years I came from not leaving my house to having a part time job I love, friendships I can keep up with, and am able to recognize what I do need help-wise. Yes I live with my mom. It took until literally 2 months ago for me to accept that I am still unable to live alone successfully and that I need the help of my mom and step-dad. And you know what, it’s ok. To everyone who puts down people for living with their family realize there is usually a good reason.

No I don’t have a full time job, no I don’t have my own place, no Im not married, I don’t have kids but you know what I’m ok with that. I’m actually happier than I have been that I can remember. Recently I was at an event where someone made a comment about how “terrible” my life was being on disability and delivering pizzas and it bothered me at the time and still does but now it bothers me that there are people out there who judge others that way. My life isn’t terrible it’s wonderful. I have family and friends who love me and I’m working on myself… that’s not terrible, that’s life, it’s my life so now thinking back at that moment I wish I said fuck off to him, but alas my social anxiety caught in my brain and I don’t even remember my reply.

It’s because of this guy, some posts I see on FB putting down people who can’t work, and because it’s time I do my part to end the stigma of mental illness that I write this post.

So I beg of any of you still reading please before you judge someone or something you don’t understand ask about it. Research it. Find out reasons before you look down on anyone. They may be like me, severely mentally ill so much so that it has affected my ENTIRE life. Living with it is hard but it’s possible.

As a side note to this post I refer to the people that attend these programs and the mentally ill in general as the “Forgotten People” we do so much for homelessness, autism, cancer you name it we help but with mental illness we turn away because it makes “normal” people uncomfortable. I bet you that in 90% of people’s neighborhoods there is a group home that you don’t even know about housing the mentally ill not lucky enough to have family support. There are tons of programs in every county like mine… We are all around you, you just don’t realize it. We may be bat shit crazy but we are humans and awesome ones at that!

If you’re still reading thank you, if you have questions please ask, if you want resources tell me I’ll help, please just don’t forget about me because I don’t go to every event or because I’m not “normal”

August 16, 2017: Tuckered Out Tonight – Question #7 – Conclusion to Circadian Rhythm Sleep-Wake Disorders

Winnie the Pooh                                                       …

… I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy.  –  Marie Curie

Good Evening my Friends.  Half way through the week, and what a week it has been.  I hope that you have had a good week thus far.  This week is a complete blur to me as the days have gone by one by one.  I didn’t even realize that my sober date was 8/14/17 (2 Years Sobriety).  Then, this morning, I realized that today marked the day I was admitted to the hospital to begin my new life 8/16/17 (Another 2 Year milestone).  Not for nothing, but I am damn proud of myself.  Throughout homelessness, dark deep moments inside my own mind, highs & lows, and perseverance… I survived the most difficult time of my entire existence. It has been an amazing 2 years.  
To the people out there, that have experienced a milestone of any sorts, should be proud of themselves.  It’s a real accomplishment, so give yourself high kudos!!!

Question #7

What are my priorities at the moment?

All day today, I was working on my budget to cover the next 4 months.  Being that I only have one source of income (Disability at a set monthly dollar amount), I really had to list all monies that need to paid on set dates out of two accounts.  The reason for my strict budget is because I’m planning on visiting my Mom in Florida come January 2018.  I also had to contact insurance companies today to get the best cost on auto insurance.  I found one and paid for the first month. Tomorrow, I have to go to the DMV to get my registration & license plates, plus change my address on my driver’s license. All of this to take on so suddenly, but to realize that I am gaining back my independence, I am still so excited.  I just have to stick to said budget with the attitude of “I can’t wait to see my Mom again!!!!” 

You financial life is about to get a little bit easier with this Easy Budget and…

Okay, let us get to the conclusion of Circadian Rhythm Sleep-Wake Disorders.  “Because I really require visiting the inside of my eyelids.”  LOL!!

Irregular Sleep-Wake Phase:

This disorder causes a person circadian rhythms to be all over the charts as far as being disorganized.  People will take little cat naps throughout a 24 hour period.  The sleep patterns are basically broken out into parts and pieces all day/evening hours.  Plus, there is no set time for this person to take these said naps.  They could be at any time of the day/evening.
The risk in having this irregular sleep-wake rhythm is rare.  It could be a person’s weak body clock.  It might happen based on neurological conditions.  Dementia, Mental Retardation and/or Brain Damage.  It has been suggested that this effect people who do not get daily light exposure.  
“Obviously…” You must seek a physician to conduct a full examination, including a neurological examination.  Your physician might suggest keeping a sleep diary, which keeps a record of the times you take these naps, what was on your mind at the time you fell asleep, and/or what was on your mind when you awoke.  Checking your melatonin levels may be used.  You might have to undergo an MRI or CT scan.  A sleep study might take place as well.  
In order to treat the irregular sleep-wake rhythm, is to increase stimulation to reset your bodies clock.  The objective is to get you to sleep a normal long nights sleep.  Education and behavioral therapy can also help with this disorder.  Suggestions may be meditation, increase melatonin levels, even light treatment is one way to help with the weak body clock.

Non-24-Hour-Sleep-Wake Rhythm:

Simply stated…”Your sleep pattern is staying up later and later every evening, and waking up later and later every morning.”  The later you fall asleep, it’s already morning by the time you get there.  It is considered to be a delayed sleep phase disorder.  “To me, this is what I considered severe insomnia.”  I would stay up for most of the evening, and by the time I was ready to sleep, it was closing in on 5 am in the morning.  The sleep is only broken after hearing outside disturbances.  “Yes, that was the case with me.  I would only wake to hear a lawn mower outside the bedroom window, or case workers and housemates in the temporary housing facility sla.mming doors, and speaking loudly.  I walked around in a dense fog for months.  Now, that I’m thinking about it, maybe I was misdiagnosed with having Insomnia and I may have had Non-24-Hour-Sleep-Wake Rhythm all along.  I’ll have to ask my Psychiatrist the next time I see her.”  
It is shown that people who are blind have this disorder.  However, those cases are rare.  Daily activities and daylight are important to reset your sleep clock.  Some people that experience this disorder may develop psychiatric or personality disorders.  
“Guess what I’m going to say next?”  Yes, see your physician, and go through the similar test as you would go through if you had Irregular-Sleep-Wake Rhythm.  The treatment will be the same as well.

Shift Work:

Shift work is adjusting to different shift from one week to the next.  Week one, 8-4.  Week two, 4-12. Week three, 12-8.  Your body takes a time to constantly adjust from one week to the next.  The body needs to get a healthy 7*8 hours of sleep per night, but with people that work shifts, that sleep is less than 5-6 hours because you ARE CONSTANTLY ADJUSTING YOUR INNER CLOCK.  These circadian rhythms are lacking daylight as well and decrease the natural melatonin level.  
Shift work disorder can cause work related accidents and/or injuries.  You could make more frequent mistakes at work, increased illness such as cold/flu, and may cause drowsiness while driving and cause an accident.  Increased long term risks are as follows.  Breast and prostate cancer, high cholesterol levels, heart disease, and obesity.

Jet Lag:

“I’m not a frequent flier that travels throughout the USA or other foreign countries, although…  I wouldn’t mind one day to venture out on that idea.”  
Jet lag is caused by flying through different time zones and having to adjust to the time change.  You could board a flight during daylight hours, and arrive somewhere else where the sun is just rising. “Pretty hard to get used to that I would say.  I think I’ll just keep on the East coast of the USA.”  LOL!!  However, jet lag can worsen if you travel often, stress develops, you have to adjust to air pressure that can cause headaches, and the obvious… lack of real sleep.  This also affects your melatonin levels.  Unfortunately, there are really no cures for jet lag.  It’s a game of catching up on true sleep. 

This Is Your Body Without Sleep (Infographic) -

“Thank you, thank you… hold your applause.  I finally finished up Circadian Rhythm Sleep-Wake Disorders”…  “Personally speaking, I didn’t think I was never going to conclude on this subject matter because I was numb before I tried to finish this.  Now, I am blind from trying not to make errors along the way.”  LOL!!!!
With that being said, I am going to close and wish all of you a wonderful nights rest.  Only two more days to get through.  Yippy!!  Friends, I will be back tomorrow (I hope).  I have a great deal to get accomplished tomorrow regarding my group, and getting the car all set at the DMV.  We Shall see. For now…Take Care & God Bless.  Beckie

Good Night. Rest Deeply, Sleep Peacefully, Dream Sweetly


August 15, 2017: Grateful & Giddy – Question #6 – Circadian Rhythm Sleep-Wake Disorders (Part 2)

… that is what learning is.  You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way. – Dorris Lessing

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen…  I certainly hope that you have enjoyed your day as much as I have.  Although, I have to state first, that it started off with my roommate being melancholy.  Today, marked the one year anniversary of her brothers passing.  The first anniversary is the most difficult to get through, no matter who you are.  
We did our normal routine this morning, sharing coffee and talking.  Which, is one of my favorite ways to start the day. This morning, however, was memories of times spent with her brother. We talked about our families. We have such different family backgrounds.  Obviously, mine was full of drama. She shared memories filled with love and constant kindness.  Her brother, sister and my roommate were so close, and this tragedy happened.  He died at the young age of 57.  So, naturally, this affected her so deeply. 
But… as we were talking this morning, she presented me with an unforeseen question.  (Let me go back to last week).  She was in search of a reliable second-hand car with low mileage, and boy oh boy did she find the mother load of a deal.  “I’ll spare you all that.”  Today, she received a call from the owner that was selling, and it was decided that by the end of the week, she would be the new owner.  (Back to the question now)… She states “I was thinking if you would be interested in buying my car?  I pulled up the Kelly Blue Book value of the car, and we can make arrangements in order to pay it off…”  I think I developed lock jaw there for a moment over the shock of this question.  NOTE:  I have been without a car since August 2015.  As I explained to all you fine folks from the beginning when I was admitted to the hospital, I lost everything, and yes… that included a vehicle.  So, you can just imagine my excitement when she was serious about this.  “Yes,” I exclaimed.  “Oh my God, yes!!!  Thank you so very much!!!!”  I couldn’t get myself off the couch fast enough to hug her.  Since day one when she said I could move in her home, we have gotten along so well, and then another gift of helping me out…She is undeniably a Godsend to me.  So, “J” if you are reading this, I just wanted to express to you how grateful I am for you to be in my life.  You have most certainly been the best roommate one could ever have imagined in having!!!
Now, I can visit my brother who I haven’t seen in over a year in a half.  I can now go to my friend “L’s” house to visit her & Lucy (My furry niece).  I can go on errands if need be.  I can pick up my other very dear friend “JT” up, and have him come over.  I am most definitely over the top happy!!!  Okay, enough…  I have other things that I have to attend to.

Question #6

What makes me come alive? When was the last time I felt alive?

This is a two part answer for obvious reasonsDuh?  It’s a two part question.
Obviously, you all know how close I am to my Mother.  When we talk and laugh, that usually uplifts my spirits.  When I finally saw her this past July, that feeling of hugging her after 13 months of not seeing her was an outstanding moment.  The second part of my answer…  Today made me feel quite alive when I got in the front seat of my roommate’s car today and drove around here & there, especially knowing that by the end of this week…  I would have gained some of my independence back.  You have no idea what that could do to you when you don’t have the means.  This definitely was a moment to feel alive!!! 

Today + every day. So grateful. Gratitude is important.

Warning to my readers, sorry for this.  But…  I am going to have to extend this particular subject through to tomorrow.”  I promise I will conclude the Circadian Rhythm Sleep-Wake Disorders then.  Thank you for your patience.

Advanced Sleep-Wake Phase:

AKA (ASP), is one of several Circadian Rhythm Sleep Disorders.   It is when someone’s sleep cycle is not like anyone else’s, or not normal.  People with (ASP) are early bird people in the circadian clock. “Kind of like my Mother.  One would think that after your retire, one would love to sleep in a little later. Nope.  Not my mom.  She’s up before the roosters wake the world.”  This unusual sleep pattern is someone that wakes up way early and tends to become be exhausted earlier in the afternoon, and generally, goes to bed between the hours of 6 pm – 9 pm.  “Now, my Mom may get up around 4:30 am at times, but she is able to stay up past 9 pm like some high school kids do.”  LOL!!
All of the circadian rhythms relate to sleep occur in the early hours of the day.  The reason for this is because melatonin and other hormones are released early on.  Again, if you sprinted out of your bed at an ungodly hour such as 3-4 am, you would feel a bit dreadful by early afternoon.  “This probably is not the best thing to happen if you’ve got to work until 5 pm or have an appointment that you need to keep after work.  You’d probably fall asleep at your desk, or worst, fall asleep at the wheel.”  
Some people with (ASP) contribute this strange sleep pattern to insomnia or depression, and that is not the case.  However, some (ASP) people also have a fear of not waking up on time and find themselves ejected out of their beds with panic striking them.  It’s hard for a person with (ASP) to be awake if others are sleeping.  This is when insomnia kicks in, and the process of worry escalate.  Some people are prone to taking jobs that fit the “early Bird Special” such as bakers, security guards, even surgeons will jump on an early shift to accommodate their inner rooster.  
 The worst thing to do to fall asleep at a normal hour is to drink alcohol or drink a stimulant such as coffee and tea with caffeine.  Obviously, don’t mix sleeping aids and drink alcohol at the same time.  This is not going to help you bolt out of bed any earlier, it may knock you for a loop.  Plus, it may spike anxiety.
(ASP) is not that common, but if you feel you fit the criteria please see your physician.  Make sure you get a physical.  
I certainly don’t suffer with (ASP).  I fall asleep at nights around 1:30-2:30 am, and I’m lucky if I’m up by noon the latest.  However, I have gotten up the last two morning by 8:30 am.  I can’t even begin to explain that one.
Alright, my friends, it is that time.  I promise to conclude the following subject tomorrow at a more reasonable hour.  I find myself blurry eyed, and I still have to focus on editing.  LOL!!  I hope that all of you get a good nights rest and have sweet dreams.  Until tomorrow, Take Care & God Bless.  
Good night sweet Angel sisters... Rest knowing Jesus is caring for you and your loved ones while you slumber know that I care and love you In Christ Jesus ¥!ck!£ ❤️


August 14, 2017: “Sunday, I Took Off. Heck, Even God Took One Day Off.” – Circadian Rhythm Sleep – Question #5

Circadium Rhythm Sleep Stages Grapic

To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it. –   Mother Teresa

Hello, Friends… I hope all of you had a good weekend and that you are well rested for the upcoming week.   First and foremost, before I start my ramblings I want to share with you fine folks how enjoyable I have found it to read other people’s blog posts.  They are awe-inspiring, humorous, witty, and at times,  they take my mind on walks through life in general.  There are flawless, and impeccable writers out there.  All I can say is this.  I feel like it’s a gift to me to read their passages and life’s journey.  So, for that, I thank you. 
Well, Saturday was spent on Facebook/Pinterest.  Doing my blog, and chilling out for the majority of the afternoon. Sunday came along, and my attitude was this… “I need to have a bit of fun with my friends.”  Not that we went anywhere, we simply hung out, ate sandwiches, and watched fashion run way shows from years gone by, to the present.  We all threw our 2 cents in and critiqued the hell out of the designers, models, and the actual fashions themselves.  Granted, the seasonal couture is rather… Well, “Either astonishing, outstanding or out right ridiculous!!”  I don’t know if any of you have ever followed this type of “Entertainment” but, when the designers have men dressing up as if to resemble Pinocchio,  and the women wearing see through evening gowns “Nipples showing and flopping around” this to me is not delightful by any stretch of the imagination.  Also, half of the time, you are trying to figure out what sex the model is by what they are wearing, to the lack of boobage, no makeup, and hair slicked back.  As I said, my friends and I critique the hell out of this.  “But, it’s so much fun!!!”

“I mean really… What is this?”  Vivetta Resort 2018 Fashion Show Collection

Question #4

If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?

Stop the violence, greed, threats, bullying, illegal injustices, human trafficking, fearful induced patrons, judgemental, horrific reports of all of said mentioned, “fake news”,  stock market hot shots, that have thrown the economy into a downward spiral towards purgatory, “low, middle, or high-class bull crap”,  poverty, children starving, homeless, ( I could keep on going, believe me). Kindness supersedes all.  Patience, try listening instead of speaking over one another, trust, honesty, gratitude, gratefulness ( I could go further with this one too).  But, most importantly, Love one another, care for one another, help the elderly, give the young minds of today a future in which they could look forward to.  If we keep going the way we have, we may not have the world to share messages around. 
 World peace ~
Alrighty then…  I thought I would dive into the following;  Circadian Rhythm Sleep-Awake Disorders.  This is not necessarily based on insomnia.  No, this particular disorder is a bit different and has many parts to it.

The Following Categories Are…

  • Delayed Sleep-Wake Phase.
  • Advanced Sleep-Wake Phase.
  • Irregular Sleep-Wake Rhythm.
  • Non-24-Hour Sleep-Wake Rhythm.
  • Shift Work.
  • Jet Lag.
The Delayed Sleep-Wake Phase is sleep pattern that is delayed by two or more hours in both directions.  Stay up later, sleep in later.  Delayed Sleep-Wake Disorder aka (DSP) consists of a typical sleep pattern that is delayed.  “Speaking the obvious.”  If say you normally go to bed around 10 pm, you would awake probably around 5-6 am (If you don’t hit the snooze button like I did).  But, if you push it up to 12-1 am to finally go to sleep, chances are, you are going to want to sleep until at least 9-10 am.  One sign of this disorder is very similar to insomnia because it becomes harder to fall asleep at night, but the down side is that you have a very difficult time rolling out of bed come the morning hours.  This can lead to sleepiness and fatigue.   Yet, in most cases, most people who have this particular disorder have not found feeling poorly during the day.
Note:  (DSP) Might be misdiagnosed for another sleep disorder, a medical condition, the medication that is prescribed (or not)., a mental health condition and/or substance abuse of any kind.  Though there is no formal population statistics on this disorder, it has been shown that it affects teens and young adults more so.  “I can venture to say that’s because when we were younger, we wanted to hang out with our friends and party.”  However, the party has to end at some given point.
(DSP) can be misconstrued as insomnia, but a sleep study should be performed by a physician, as well as having a physical examination to determine if there are other health issues to be concerned about, and/or adding to (DSP).  
Treatment for (DSP) can be melatonin (taken at the same hour every evening).  You can find this at your pharmacy, and/or any store that supplies vitamins.  This will allow your bodies hormone levels to adjust, and assist your sleep-wake cycle.  So, if your bedtime is scheduled at 10 pm, then take the melatonin around 9:15 pm.  Set your alarm for that ungodly hour of 5-6 am, and you will hopefully experience the full night’s sleep you were looking for.  Again, if you consistently continue to have the problem, that is time for you to contact your physician. 
Delayed sleep phase disorder is often confused for insomnia. The person is able to sleep a full eight hours, just not *when* everyone else does.
Alright, my friends… It is time for me to close for this evening and contact my mom.  We talk at least once a day, and e can cover a great deal of ground about any subject under the sun.  I will continue to tomorrow with the types of Circadian Rhythm Sleep-Wake Disorder.  In the meantime, have a pleasant evening & sleep well.  Take Care & God Bless.






August 12, 2017: Question #4 – Antisocial Personality Disorder (Part 2)

Cluster B Personality Disorders - BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder), and APD (Antisocial Personality Disorder)

Good Evening Everyone!!!  Did you have a pleasant Saturday?  Depending on where you live, I guess determines the activities you did today, right?  It was so dreary outside today, I ended up waking around 12:30 pm.  Of course, it didn’t help by staying up until after 3 am, (not by choice, mind you). As soon as I awoke, I went to Peanut’s cage to check on the status of the new perch, and if it was ever used. Unfortunately, he was still at the bottom of the cage.  I got dressed and took my roommate’s dog “Pinky” out for a walk, and then fed her.  Afterward, I then went back to Peanut’s cage to yet, try, try, try again to convince him that the new perch in his cage was safe.  I rubbed my hand over the new perch with hopes he would find that it was safe for Mommy to touch, it would be safe for him.  Yet, he didn’t want any parts of this new perch.  I took a moment and went about the day cleaning, then on Facebook & Pinterest.  After 45 minutes of giving Peanut a break, I proceeded to try again.  This time, I got him to sit on it for at least 10 minutes.  But, after that…He was back at the bottom of the cage.  I have a very strong suspicion that this is going to take a great deal of patience between the both of us.
The next project was contacting my dear friend Jason to assist my mother in a dilemma that involved her new computer.  It’s only 1 month old, and here she is having difficulty with a threat of a virus.   Almost an hour & half later, it seems that the problem was solved by Jason.  Here this is not an occupation of his, and he is working long distance by way of a three-way phone conversation, I was even more impressed than I was, to begin with.  A shout out to Jason…  Thank you so very much for helping my Mom.

Question #4  

What are my views and/or opinions on alcohol & drug use?

SIMPLE.  DO NOT DO IT!!!  (Drugs) unless prescribed by a physician, don’t even give it another thought.  (Alcohol) Well, if you have just started to follow me, or just recently started learning about me, you would know that this,  along with the combination of mental illness nearly ended my life entirely.  I have seen too many people either die or ended up frying out their brain.  I have seen too many people become homeless for the same reason.  I realize that not all people have the same affliction with alcohol, but if you suffer from a mental illness, or have simply drunk too much, and consistently do so over, and over again…  You have a problem.  Please seek help right away!!!! 
 Psychopath Vs. Sociopath visual representation and statistics For the record sherlock is NOT a sociopath or a psychopath.
I left off yesterday stating that I would get back to Sociopath & Psychopathic traits.  This is stemming off the Antisocial Personality Disorders.  There are really no differences between either. They all fall under the following categories.
  • The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick and persuasive.  
  • Neither has difficulty with charm.  They are not shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything.
  • Grandiose self-worth and inflated view of one’s abilities and self-assured, opinionated, cocky, and braggart.
  • Both can be pathological liars, conning, and manipulating.  
  • Both can be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever.
  • Emotional poverty or a limited range of depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of gregariousness.
My Step-father was this person.  He was not only full of himself but believed to better than any of the other family members.  He liked to egg us (or me at least) on in ways that I would feel degraded in my intellect, or abilities.  This had been his third marriage when he married my mom.  His own family was not close to him because of his shifty styles.  His own brothers warned my mother of his past, but she gave him the benefit of the doubt.  Unfortunately, my mom, his company where he was employed, and the rest of the family (including his brothers) all learned he was a con artist.  He embezzled thousands upon thousands of dollars from his company.  One day my mother went home for lunch, and found a note on the kitchen countertop, basically stating he was out of there.  He emptied the bank accounts and left his clothes, personal belongings, but took the brand new vacuum cleaner.  (We made jokes about him taking the vacuum cleaner, and stated it was for him to make a clean get-away).  He actually did speak to my mom thereafter but felt no remorse for his actions even though she was losing her home.  We learned later, that he escaped to Arkansas.  His company did not go after him due to something about insurance reasons, and the worst part of all of this is my mother to this day is considered still married to this asshole.  For all we know, he has done this to yet another victim along the way since he has done this very same thing to his own families in the past.
If you feel that someone is behaving in this similar way, or you know a family member that behaves in this tremendously harsh manner, keep clear.  Never let your guard down.  DO NOT TRUST THIS PERSON AS FAR AS YOU CAN THROW THEM.  Chances are, is that this person whether it be family or friends that have this disorder will end up in jail eventually.  I at least hope and pray this would have happened to my step-father.
Okay, my friends…  It is time for me to close.  It’s almost 10 pm, and I’m pretty beat.  I hope you had an enjoyable Saturday, and have a pleasant evenings rest.  I will catch up with all of you tomorrow. Take Care of Yourselves & God Bless.

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August 11, 2017: Question #3 – Antisocial Personality Disorder (Part 1)

What you should know about Antisocial Personality Disorder:

The way to mend the bad world is to create the right world.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Good Evening Folks, How are you?  Hope that you enjoyed your Friday.  Here in the “Enchanting” state of New Jersey (Not!), it was fairly gloomy all day.  Low lying dark clouds that looked as if they’d burst in a moments notice.  Yet, held off.  However, tomorrow is supposed to be another story for the “Garden State.”  Rain on & off throughout the entire day.  With that being said, I will be on Pinterest and Facebook for most of the day.  And/or…stimulate you fine people, with me writing another entry.
My day was fairly uneventful. Unless you consider trying to get your parrot to adapt to a new perch in his cage.  This is a perch in which allows him to grind his nails.  “Peanut” is not being responsive to it the way I thought he would.  This ritual of opening the door to his cage, and pitiful attempts of my trying to get him to become trustworthy of this new furniture in his domain, is proving to me intolerable to both of us.  With his hook beak that contains 200 lbs of pressure, I place myself in a very venerable position of sticking my hand in the cage and trying to pick him up with hopes that he is not going to remove a digit.  I repeat each and every time, “It’s okay Peanut, it’s okay.” but,  the constant flapping of wings indicates he’s not having any parts of this new addition.  At the current moment, he is content by pulling in the sheet that covers the back of his cage inward as a security blanket and indicates he will not be participating in sitting atop his new perch that I spent close to $20.00 dollars on yesterday.  I believe, that it’s in the best interest for both of us to resolve to the fact that I will have to remove said perch, and place the old one back in its place.  Then, come tomorrow, start this all over again.  So be it. 

Question #3

What was my all time favorite TV program when I was growing up?

“Little House on The Prairie” Hands down.  I so wanted to grow up in the Ingalls home, and be a pioneer of that time period.  I wanted my Dad to be more like Pa, but I still wanted my mom to be my mother.  Sure times were rough and unbearable, but they had that special bond of family unity.  For the most part, even the town was so close.  Yeah, there were times in which Nellie Olsen & her mother Harriet were as nasty as they could be.  However, they were still there for one another through the thick of it.  That is why I enjoyed the show so much.  The camaraderie, and unity.

“Little House on the Prairie” is one of the most successful dramatic series in television history. This TV legend began with the pilot in March of 1974, which introduced the Ingalls family to millions of viewers around the world. It was subsequently picked up as a series in September and ran on NBC for nine seasons until 1983.

AntiSocial Personality Disorder:

I thought I would venture on the following subject this time around.  The definition of Antisocial personality disorder is a mental condition in which a person has a long-term pattern of manipulating, exploiting or violating the rights of others.  This behavior could very well lead to criminal intent or worst.
The cause of this disorder is unclear.  As in most cases, “The good ole’ genes” play a part.  Other factors such as child abuse could contribute to developing this condition.  People with an alcoholic parent are at higher risk.  Far more for men than women are affected.  People who are arsons, or animal abusers during their childhoods are often keys to antisocial personality disorders.  

Here are just a few symptoms a person may convey:

  • Be able to act witty & charming.
  • Be good a flattery and manipulating others people’s emotions.
  • Often angry or arrogant.
  • Lie, steal. and fight often.
  • Disregard the safety of themselves or others.
  • Have problems with substance abuse.
  • No shame, guilt or remorse.
  • Breaks the law repeatedly.
Most people who are diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder is based on a psychological evaluation.  In a majority of people who are diagnosed with this disorder have had emotional and behavioral problems during childhood.  Antisocial personality disorder is one of the hardest disorders to treat.  In worst case scenarios, treatment usually is mandated by the court system for treatment. Behavioral treatments, such as talk therapy may help.
The frightening prognosis is that symptoms tend to peak during the late teens and the early 20’s. Sometimes, they can improve by the 40’s.  As I mentioned, it can be complicated if this person is imprisoned, use of drugs & alcohol, violence, and worse case scenario.  The patterns can vary in severity.  The more egregious, harmful or dangerous the behavior patterns could be then be referred to as a sociopathic or psychopathic.  (Which I will come back to).
Alright, my friends, I am going to close for this evening.  I actually began writing this afternoon around 4 pm, and now it’s almost 10:30 pm.  Between, having to get up and check on “Peanut” my parrot, and trying to help him deal with the new perch, I also had to find time for dinner.  
I will continue to tomorrow with high hopes of reporting that Peanut is surviving the perch ordeal, and continue on Antisocial Personality Disorder.  Until then, I hope that all of you have a pleasant evening and a pleasant beginning to your weekend.
Take Care & God Bless,